BLUE AND MUSIC

20

All white Gucci suit, I'm feeling righteous

I know that the truth is hard to digest

Five or six pills in my right my hand

Codeine running over on my nightstand

Taking medicine to fix all of the damage.

My anxiety the size of planet

Holes in my skull,over time

My heart's over ride though....

      Song: Righteous by juice wrld...

.........//

Our arguement...

Mum and dad taking sides...

All of us chuckling at our weird family

Ding Dong...the doorbell went.

Me skipping happily to the door

But the sight greeting me made me speechless.

He stood there with a gun

Two other people in the same way

My family coming down to meet the scaring sight.

Him talking about revenge, talking about my fathers past

All his words incomprehensible by me

My father getting ready to charge

Bang!

The shot straight to his head

Bang!

Bang!

I watched my mother and twin fall down limply to the ground.

Blood staining my feet but my mind blank

Him disgustly smiling at me

My brain slowly comprehending that my family had just be killed.

He left his partners following him

Me standing there frozen with her lifeless hazel eyes staring back at me.

.........//

I gasp shooting awake. Sweat covering me all over. My cheeks wet from dream crying.

    I clutch my head trying to stop the replay of that night but i couldn't because today was the same day last year.

Today was their memorial.

    It struck me like a ton of brick.

The day she died,the day they died. The day a mistake of mine led to the end of my life.

    I didnt know if i should cry or scream.

     It was 2am in the morning. By this time last year we were all in our bed sleeping soundly but now...they dont even live.

    I felt lifeless, weak,pathetic. 
I slowly try to walk to the bathroom. Each step more painful than the first.

   I stared in the mirror. My ugly face stared back at me. I was disgusted by myself. By everything. I should be dead but here i am.

   All the happiness i felt three days ago gone. I didnt deserve happiness.

   I looker in the mirror but instead of my pale face. It was her face i saw. Her Hazel eyes. The pink dyed tips of her platinum blonde hair.

   My grip on the sink was tight. I could almost feel it breaking. Her hazel eyes remined me of that night except they were lifeless.

    The image appears in my head. Her lifeless eyes and the blood pooling from her chest.

I tried to stop the image but i couldn't. It wouldn't go away.

So I Screamed....

I screamed for the pain

I screamed for the loss

I screamed for hunting nightmares

I scremed for peace

I scremed for them

I screamed for her......

    My scream was like that of an horro movie except the horror wasn't playing out infront of me, it was in my head.

   My heard my door banged open. Trey and Willow coming from it but all i could do was clutch my head and continue to scream.

  "Ashley!!"

   Willow shouted trying to shake me out of my terror. 

  Trey trapped me in his chest.

  "Ashley...i need to you breath. Breath...We got you. " i saw him give some signs to willow who nods and rushes away.

   "Make it stop...make it stop" i kept shouting. It hurts. Its too painful.

  "Ash..." Trey whispers  slowly his hold more tighter.

   "Please" i cry out.

He sighs clearly not in support but nods his head either way.

  Willow comes back with exactly what i need.

  "Its been long since she took this. Are you sure?" Willow askes unsure.

   Trey sighs rocking me back and fort as i continue to cry.

  "She wants it to stop. So we help." He says taking the syring from her.

    He plunges it into my veins and slowly i can feel it starting to take place.

   My cries turn to hiccups and my eyes start to fall. My terrors quietly going away. I lay limply in Trey arms. His hold soft and comforting.

   "Thank you" i whisper before going into a numb sleep.
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Author's Note

Hiiii

I can't believe this is my 20th chapter. I never thought i will be able to write 20 chapters in a book. But here i am

So thank you💙

Poor Ashley.

Everyone has nightmares and everyone has a way of hiding them😔

What do you guys think of this chapter?

  Now one question Ice cream VS Chocolate🤔🤔

Please vote and comment. It means the world to me😍

Got to go now.

Love

Blue💙