BLUE AND MUSIC

11

   
    Life...

You know i had planned my life perfectly well. Be this successful girl with my sister by my side. My mum and dad at the sidelines.

    Probably even get married to this hot dude that treates me right.

    Have maybe 2 or 3 kids.

Watch them grow into people

Grow old with the man i married..

And lastly take my last breath in a garden with flowers and butterflys.

     But i haven't even gotten to 18 years and all plans are gone. It's like they were the foundation of my life and once they left. Everything else collasped.

Sucide...

  I dont know why but for the past week being here all i could do was thinking and slowly my mind was telling me to die.

  I mean look at me. Why should someone like me be living....

I killed my own family by my blind love

I destroyed peoples life like Kylie, Bloom and the one that hurts me most Kylan...

Am not angry at them for their hate

Their words

Or their actions

Because i know they are acting out of pain,hurt and anger

And also because i deserve it.

Like that wasnt it i was hated by all. So me killing myself wouldn't be a big deal right?

I mean people have already told me to....
  

   Chill....am not killing myself now but the thought seems like a good option.

    You're  confused.. let me help you with that.

  
  Willow and Trey had interrogated me on what had happened and i gave them what they wanted.

Nope i didnt tell them about Kylan...

My brain being smart for once claimed i was mobbed by thugs.

     They were a bit hesitant but they gave into it after a while.

Rae had told me how Kylan stayed in the hospital until he heard Willow and Trey coming before he left.

   I know... am suppose to be mad at Kylan. Hate him for all you care but i can't

I have seen the good side of Kylan. The side that was possessive of Her but protected us both. The side that would joke around and make sure both of us were fine. The side that held love and adoration for my sister.

    So I continue to hope. I contiue to hope that someone would come into his life not to replace my sister but to take up the role she left behind.

I havent gone to school in a week. The doctor had said i had to rest. Willow and Trey wouldn't even allow me to leave my room.

Oh also they are staying this month.

Yep...Hurray

   Cue in my sacarsm

I like them but

Them being home meaning i have to eat. They would check on me and all those caring stuff

   What sadden me the most is that they have started to plan the memorial.

   I didnt want to hear of it though.