Just Like You ✓

Four

Nicki

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"Something really strange just happened, and I don't know what to do with it."

"Firstly, you're going to tell me exactly what it was," Noah said, his eyes sparkling with intrigue.

"I think I'll sit on that, at least until I make sense of it." Noah pouted, but he didn't push me. He could clearly see that I was troubled.

What the fuck happened? That was the million dollar question.

Beyonce Knowles was going to kiss me. I wasn't imagining it. It wasn't all in my head. And her reason for pinning me up against the wall, grazing her chest against mine in that provocative way, that had nothing to do with anger. That was sexual tension, not hatred.

As I lay in bed the following morning, having had a restless sleep, I kept replaying the whole baffling episode over and over, trying to make sense of it, but coming up trumps. There was no sense in any of it. Beyonce might just have been the biggest homophobe in the entertainment industry, and she wore that title with pride. So what was she doing with her mouth a negligible distance from mine, eyes longingly staring at my lips? At least I could rule out inebriation, unless they'd started putting alcohol into non-alcoholic beer...

As it had been doing every time I thought of our brief but insanely hot encouter inside the bathroom, an aching began between my legs. A throbbing, the same type that I'd felt when I was against the wall. It was uncontrollable. Was this how her millions of male fans who'd flocked to the cinemas to see her kick butt felt? For the first time since I'd known her, I saw her appeal. I understood it perfectly.

I couldn't get over how aggressive she was with me, yet at the same time she'd made it clear that she wasn't trying to harm me. She was known for her temper, I knew that. She'd gained a criminal record for assaulting a barman a few years back, after he called her a whore. I think she broke his nose with a pool cue. she was just a walking time bomb of pent-up rage. But if pinning me to a wall in a sexually provocative manner was the way she released it...she was more of an enigma than I thought.

"She wasn't about to kiss you, moron. That was just her way of controlling her temper." I said to myself, shaking my head. Unapologetic homophobes didn't go around almost kissing out lesbians. That would have sort of defeated the issue.

"And so what if she was about to kiss you? You can't seriously be interested in someone like that. She's spent two years being a complete bitch to you."

Saying it out loud highlighted how crazy the idea was. Not only did I like my women less agressive, and strictly femme, I also preferred it if they didn't hate me.

I dragged myself out of bed, pulled on my robe, tied my hair up loosely and went to get the Saturday morning paper.

"Good, you're up," a woman's voice spoke the second I pulled the door open, scaring me half to death. She was wearing one of her condescending faces, the one where she rasised her eyebrow - and looked at me like I was a school kid. Her hair was slicked into a high ponytail as usual, and her makeup done up.

"Arianna, what are you doing here?" I sighed as I bent down to pick up the paper.

"We need to talk." She invited herself in, shoving past me.

"We sure as hell don't."

"Have fun last night?" From the way she put her hands on her hips and the accusatory tone in her voice, I knew there wasn't an answer satisfactory enough for her. She came here to argue.

"I did, actually."

"Was that before or after you showed your ass with that little girl?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw a clip of the little show you put on at Chris's. Did you think I wouldn't find out about it?"

"Find out about what? That I was dancing with my coworker?"

She pointed a threatening finger at me. "It was more than dancing, Nic, and you know it."

"You're out of your mind, and I don't need this right now." I went to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm.

"Get off me! What the hell is wrong with you? I wrenched my arm from her grip.

"Are you trying to make a fool of me? Is that what this is?" In the blink of an eye her expression had change from irate to sad.

"No. Jesus, you have to stop doing this, Arianna. We're not together anymore."

"Yeah, and you're hellbent on reminding me of it."

"It's been over a year. You need to move on," I said, my voice softer. I felt like I was trying to talk someone down from the ledge. My crazy ex often made me feel that way. Our two-year relationship eventually became a bunch of moments like this. I was surprised I lasted as long as I did.

"Some of us can't move on as quickly as others," she said with a pained, accusatory look.

"It wasn't easy for me, you know." I didn't know what else to say, though I sensed that the truth would have made things worse, being that I'd moved on very easily. Whatever feelings I'd had for her vanished a year into the relationship, when I realized how batshit crazy she was.

Her face brightened up upon hearing that, hearing my lie. "Really? I knew you weren't as cold as you come off." She stepped closer to me, and before I knew it her lips were on mine.

I shoved her away. "What are you doing? That's not what I was trying to say, Arianna. That's not it at all."

She was back to looking furious. "Fucking tease," she shouted. "You don't want a real woman, you like little girls now?"

"No, I don't want someone who's obsessed with me," I shot back. "I think you should leave now."

She took my advice and stomped out the house, not before shooting me a hateful glare.

Arianna was a walking, talking example of the perils of shitting where you ate. We'd got the Ladies of Justice gig around the same time - me as actress, her as one of the writers for the show. Even that had been engineered by her. When she heard that I'd auditioned for the part, she'd thought it a good idea to pull every string known to man to get on the show, so we could work side by side. That was a warning bell. And although we didn't see much of each other on set, it wasn't easy running into her at show functions and parties.

Shitting where you ate was always a bad idea.

It was only after she left that something occurred to me. Maybe I attracted unstable women. Or...maybe I was attracted to them.

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So I just wanted to put this out there. A lot of us had it hard coming out of the closet. I mean we probably weren't homophobic about it but I know for some of you it was hard or still is. I'm trying to portray that through Bey :)

What do you think the popular ships in our kind of ship circle are?

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Thoughts?

Nicki?

She got so many problems.. lmfaooo

Arianna?

She's pretty crazy..

Now that she's introduced, how do you think she will effect Nicki's future?

Beyonce?

How do you think she will act when she sees Nicki again?

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