Inhale

Chapter 16:

Corey was washing up looking out the window and down onto the streets. He sighed gently, not really thinking just observing. His sleeves were rolled up for once which reveled his horror of slipping up the other day but Joey wasnt up so he didnt have to know.

He was trying not to let his intrusive thoughts get the better of him.

It was hard, painfully hard but he was distracting himself well he thought.

Intrusive thoughts were good at swarming at the worst of times. It really could be hard to manage.

He hated being near kids, he was trying to deal with the fact of handling it. Holding a baby was his worst fear because his head would scream at him to bash it against the wall. It offended one the women he was homeless with for a while, she was going out and she asked him to look after it. She was less then happy when corey gave it to someone else to look after from that very fear. But despite that he did kind of want to be a dad.

The terrible thoughts he had which he knew he'd get judged on, god he already felt like everyone could hear those thoughts.

He didnt want to hurt anyone in anyway.

He kept staring out the window, making sure not to look down at the dishes as he breathed in slowly.

He nodded gently as he was erasing the horrific sexual one from his head.

Those were the most embarrassing ones ever. He would admit they never turned him on, but the idea, his brain screamed at him too.

It was hard trying to deal with balancing his hypersexualness ontop of his intrusive thoughts.

It was putting him in a shit mood.

He now had somewhere private to release himself, but he always felt so scummy and dirty afterwards, that's if he could finish himself without being impaled by a thought it even worse...a memory.

Joey padded into the kitchen, half asleep "morning."

Corey nodded "morning. Coffees on the side."

Joey smiled "thanks."

Corey put a wet plate on the side "welcome."

He put his hand back in and pulled out a knife.

He stared at it.

Before joey opened his stupid mouth.

"Are we due at Shawn's tonight?"

Stab.

Kill.

That's all Corey's mind was screaming.

"Corey? I'm talking to you." Joey said

Mutilate.

Hurt.

"Uh..."

Corey couldnt stop looking at his ugly reflection in the knife as he dropped it.

"Corey..?"

Corey shook his head "I have to go and do something I uh..."

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost..." joey looked at him getting up.

Corey eyed the knife the had clattered on the floor. His brain told him to pick it up but he couldnt. He couldnt kill Joey. He cared about Joey. God if joey died corey didnt know what he would do.

"You there?"

Corey shuddered "I need a smoke." He closed his eyes trying to block out every sight but everytime he shut them he could see the knife in his hands, sitting on Joey's stomach holding him down and penetrating the pale skin with the sharp object until the blood spilt and Joey choked out.