Finally Wanted

Chapter Nineteen

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of rape

Corbin sat on his bed, legs swinging as he battled with his thoughts.

As expected, the boys had been over the top panicking yesterday when he finally made his way back home after his talk with Luke. He had actually arrived back just as Niall was about to go drive around the neighborhood in an attempt to find him. He had gotten a harsh talking to that thoroughly detailed how long he had been gone, how often the boys had tried calling him with no success, and that should he do that again, there will be serious repercussions. However, even though the scolding was harsh, the boys were sympathetic as to why he had freaked out and didn't force him to talk. 

For that he was grateful. 

Luke's words were ringing through his mind as he walked the length of his room. Talking to someone about his feelings? Well, that would be a first. 

He rubbed his sweaty hands on his sweatpants turned to the door. Since he was meant to be leaving in two days, Harry had pulled his out of school and so Corbin had spent the whole day cooped up in his room. 

He slowly walked down the hallway and to Zayn's room, his mind doing 150 miles per hour. That one part of his head encouraged him to lift his hand and knock on the door, to tell Zayn exactly why he had freaked out last night and get it off his chest. The other, logical part of his head told him to leave well enough alone, go back to his room, and deal with whatever comes his way by himself. He had spent eight years of his life like that though, and he was sick and tired of living that way. 

He raised his hand to knock, but hesitated.

"Come on Corbin, you can do this." He muttered, giving himself a mental pep talk. 

Determined, he knocked on the wooden door and took a step back. For a few moments, nothing happened. So with slumped shoulders, Corbin turned to go back to his room, strangely disappointed Zayn hadn't answered. 

"Corbin? Are you okay?"

Corbin glanced over to the door and saw Zayn standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face. 

"Uh, I just, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something." Corbin stuttered, scratching hard at his wrist. 

Zayn's face softened and he nodded, stepping back into the room and opening the door. Corbin nervously walked in and looked around. 

The walls were decorated with different colours of spray paint, which blended into each other and created beautifully eccentric designs. The room was impeccably tidy; it made Corbin slightly uncomfortable. Everything had a place, and everything was in its place. The only thing that wasn't in its place were a few tins of spray paint that were lying on a sheet on the floor. 

"Have a seat on the bed." Zayn shut the door and gestured to the bed, wiping his hands - which were spotted with paint, on a rag. 

Corbin took a seat on the bed and drew his legs into his chest. He watched as Zayn tossed the rag onto the sheet and sat opposite him on the bed. 

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?"

Corbin didn't answer, instead chewing on his nail nervously, trying to figure out a way to begin. He flinched back as Zayn reached forward to gently tug his finger from his mouth. 

"Don't chew your nail babes," He murmured. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Corbin rubbed his hands on his sweatpants clad thighs. 

"I-I think I should tell you why I ran out yesterday evening." He told Zayn. "Uh, the first time Mitch and I got separated, I was ten and he was four. He went to a single mom and I went to a Mr. and Mr. Taylor." 

The memories he had buried so long ago resurfaced his his mind and made his head spin, so he closed his eyes and clenched his fists tight. He felt Zayn gently take hold of his fists and unclench them. 

"Breathe Corb." 

Corbin let out a sharp breath and slowly relaxed, leaving his eyes shut.

"Uh, anyway, for the first week or so  it was really really good. They were amazing and so friendly and everything I could hope for in a parent. But one night, they, uh, they came into my room and uh, told me that it was unfair that I was walking around all sexy like and wasn't giving them anything in return, so they-they"

He let out a sob and tightened his hands around Zayn's, who softly stroked the back of his hands with his thumbs. 

"I'm sorry love, I'm so sorry." He whispered. 

Corbin cleared his throat and croaked out, "It continued for about two months before Lou found a new house for me." 

He glanced up to see Zayn;s sympathetic face, his tears making it hard to see. Zayn's head tilted to the side and a conflicted look passed over his face.

"Can I hug  you Corb?" 

Corbin nodded, another sob rising in his throat. "Yes please." 

Zayn dropped his hands and pulled him into his chest, holding him tighter as Corbin burst into tears. 

"Shh, shh, it'll be alright, it'll be alright." He whispered, rubbing his back softly. He felt Corbin relax into him and his crying slowly calm down, but not much. 

Zayn felt undeniable disgust for those two men who thought it was okay to rape an innocent ten year old boy, not just once, but for a whole two months! The boy had been entrusted into their care and they had betrayed the fragile trust he had placed in them. It really was no surprise why Corbin was weary around men, the last time he had been alone with them they had hurt him in an unforgivable way. All the boy had wanted were parents who would love him as one of their own and treat him fairly. Because of that act, the men had inevitably created a pattern of thinking in the boy that all men might and most probably will hurt him in the same way. And Zayn knew from experience that once you have a pattern of thinking in your head, it was very hard to fix it or even remove it. 

"Bud, did you ever tell anyone?" He asked when he heard the crying dwindle down to nothing. 

Corbin shook his head, "No, I didn't." He wiped his eyes with his fist and continued, "but I heard a few years ago that they both died in a car accident." 

"Well, Karma's a bitch." Zayn muttered. 

Corbin let out a watery chuckle. "Yeah." He sat upright and rubbed his eyes properly. "Thanks for uh, thanks for listening." He muttered. 

Zayn smiled softly. "Of course, I'm glad that you came to tell me." He reached out and took his hand. "If you feel that uncomfortable going to this new place, them maybe you should tell Harry or Lou, they should be able to get you out of this." 

Corbin thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No, no I think I'll be fine." He shrugged. "Not everyone is like them, maybe this will be a good opportunity for me to get over what happened." 

Zayn frowned, "I don't think you can just 'get over it', but it might be a good way to grow from that experience and make some good memories." 

Corbin smiled nervously and nodded. "Yeah, that sound right." He released a breath and sighed, "Well, I think I should go, I don't want to take up any more of your time." 

"You're welcome to stay if you want." Zayn offered. "You could help me paint that bit of wall." He pointed to a corner in the room where the wall was still plain. 

Corbin looked unsure, "I don't know," He said, "I don't know if you'll want me to ruin your beautiful wall." 

"Nonsense." Zayn got up and tossed a can of spray paint to Corbin and grinned. "Come on." 

Corbin weighed the can in his hand before smiling and nodding.