BAD REPUTATION- SHAWN MENDES
STAY- MILEY CYRUS
THERE YOU ARE- ZAYN
STAY- GRACIE ABRAMS
The door opens and I just turn my head to the opposite side I know I should just cover myself I am in just my underwear and Kai is shirtless, but I don't have the energy to fight or listen to whoever it is.
"sorry I did that; my intentions were never to make you feel this way" he pulls away and grabs his shirt and put it over my head to cover my body. And he hugs me again making me feel welcome in his arms.
"it fine just don't tell no one about this, I mean you and me" I raise my head so I can see his beautiful face.
"Don't worry about that, how are you feeling? Do you need something?" I know that he can crush me today right now, or maybe tomorrow, but I don't care. I have no explanation of how we got to close in some short time literally five days, I think that we have never had a real conversation.
"Yes, water please" he nods and exit the room
I found my way back to my bed sit in the edge of it, after everything that has happen I'm still alive with all this guilt, this walls the walls that were created for this type of moment to not cry in front of no one, to not let no one know what happen to me, to let no one know that my brother is dead because of me, my parents think that it was an accident, because of I couldn't say that day what happen, because I was so fucking broken that I couldn't even see my mom eyes when she was yelling, when one of my friend tell her that I couldn't speak because of the shock I was, when I saw him die holding his hand, I couldn't see my dad broke the entire house apart when he heard from my lips that he was dead after he slap my cheek so I could react, I was so fucking broken to see my little sister and little brother cry in my shoulders, I was to broken to see those assholes go to my brother funeral I was so fucking speechless to scream at them when they said that they were going to miss him, and I can't forgive myself because of that, I can't let myself forget that
"Lex, here" Kai says with a glass of water in his hand, I take a sip of it, stand up and place it in the nightstand and lay in my bed with my stomach down Kai sits in the other side and puts his hand in my back. "Are you okay?" I am so use to that question that I already know what to answer, but for once I don't have to lie.
"No I am not, but I will, I just need time" I know what he knows this.
"look at me please" and do what he says "I'm leaving, do you need something else" he says as he stands up and with his jacket in hand, and I quickly grab his hand the electric touch I feel when we are close. "you don't want me to go" I just shake my head. "Words" he says as he sits next to me cupping my cheek.
"No"
"Okay I will stay at the living room" he says I don't want him to go at all, I feel comfortable next to him and that is what I need right now.
"No stay" he needs to stay
"you want me to stay here, with you?" he says surprise in his voice.
"Yes, please" he nods and lay next to me pulling me closer to him and I put my head in his chest hearing his heartbeat, sensing his scent green as I call it, it's refreshing, I touch his tattoo tracing most part of him I can see his marked abdomen, and I am still sobbing. He lets go a chuckle.
"having fun" I can see that he is trying to make me feel better "teasing little angel" he pulls my chin, so I'm forced to see his face.
"I don't do this" I say trying to make myself better
"what do you mean?" he says with a frown in his face reflecting curiosity
"I don't let people undress me, never, no one have seeing me naked, I don't kiss people well I have never even kiss someone and I rarely cry in front of someone, well not like this" he looks kind of relieved.
"I don't believe you" he says, and he seems to be honest
"which part" really everything I said is true
"forget it"
"Why? I mean is true" I say
"You are very good at..." he cut midsentence
"Well I'm saying the true"
he looks at me planting a kiss in my lips softly, what makes it so intimate. "Okay so those lips are only mine then"
"Why are you with me right now? When you clearly be with other girls' way less complicated than me, and way more beautiful than me" he looks annoyed or upset I'm still figuring him out.
"Don't ever say that, don't dough yourself you one of the most or probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I'm not the only who thinks that all my friends think that same, I will never change the way you are, and I am here with you because you ask me to" he says with confident.
"but you have been..." he places his hand over my mouth interrupting me
"yes, is true, no liar here, but right now I'm here with you and I'm out of that topic" Kai stand up and walk directly at the mirror turning the exact way it was.
"thanks" he nods and return to my bed. And we stay quiet for a few minutes and he is playing with my hair all the time
"do you dye your hair" what?
"No, I have never done it" I chuckle.
"what is your major?" is he really trying to make conversation about this.
"Chemistry"
"Nice" I feel my eyes heavy that I don't notice if he taking to me or what he is doing.
THE BEGINING OF THIS CHAPTER I GOT TO EMOCIONAL I DIDN'T EDIT ANY OF IT I JUST LET MYSELF GUIDE WITH THE FEELING NOT THE SONG, PROBABLY WILL BE ONE OF MY FAVORITES I WISH THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME READING IT AS I DID WRITING IT I WAS LITERALLY CRYING...
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BLUE
Romance"tell me Lex what are you afraid of?" that is the thing that I don't want to tell him, but I am so curious at all he was saying before that eventually I will show all my fears with no words. "I not afraid of anything, just go" I need him to go I can...
