TU LUZ- CNCOI wake up and feel hot so hot in my back and so tight around my abdomen I open my eyes I can see Kai's arms around my abdomen pulling as closer to him as it can I try to untuck my legs from his and slowly his arms trying to no wake him up, thank god I accomplished everything I wish for I stand up slowly and turn to look at him he seems so in peace even within a frown in his face, he looks so cute I can see that in his finger there is something black and next to him there is his sketchbook, my curiosity is getting the best of me, I decide to open it just one page won't hurt right, when the sketchbook is open in the most recent one there is a drawing, someone's eyes with a phrase written in cursive "there is always something about eyes" I decided to go to the first page there is an image of a building with bills ripping all over the place. I decide to close the little sketchbook and put it in the nightstand, their things that probably I would regret, I decide to go and check the time it 6:00 am it late but not that late I go to my closet and grab some cloth my normal baggy cloth, to pick up a car the thing with mechanics is that the person I work gives me two days sometimes is just two or three hours but he still pays me the whole day, today I'm just picking up a car that is ten minutes from here and that is basically what I'm doing today. I decide to wear a tank top, baggy pants, grey matching underwear and a belt, get out of the room where he is sleeping.
Ahead to the shower before pulling Kai's t-shirt I decide to smell it one more time its haves his scent the one I'm turning into addicted to this refreshing scent, all my wall break with him they don't have an effect on him. Moments after I get out of the shower I don't want to cry again when I try to watch myself in the mirror when I'm finally dressed again, I just stare and remember everything about last time I did it without hating myself the way I do right know, I was twelve years old that day I was just getting dressed I didn't had any bruises on any part of my body I was talking to my brother, he was very happy about a girl that he meet, he swore that she was very cute to different to the other his phrase was "Si me caso (I will marry)" I never meet her but I could tell that she really was, and while he was talking about the love of his life, I was complaining about my hair. That day I was happy, and I didn't notice till now. I see my reflection in the mirror a smile is in my face and tears in my cheeks, probably I should do this more often it really helps taking out my pain the kind of pain that is very deep inside of me.
......
In my way back I received a call from my dad I haven't call him in almost a week, asks me of how am I doing, and I answer the usual fine, while he speaks to me the only think I can think is that I hope that Kai is out of the apartment by now is almost nine he must already leave, and I'm hungry since last night I didn't got dinner, I open the apartment, I go directly to the kitchen and start pilling and cutting in little pieces a grapefruit since is my favorite fruit ever, most people that I know hate it but I love it.
"So, you are coming Friday here or Saturday" my dad says in the phone.
"probably Saturday" I answer him.
"Ale why not Friday that way you can stay a day with us" I feel arm around my waist while I have a piece of grapefruit in my mouth.
"Papi because Joel can pick me up Saturday, you already know that. I hate driving that much, and he can pick me up and drop me off on his way back and papi I work Friday at night" none of that is true I just don't want to spend that much with them they critique me for everything and I always struggling to not break my patience.
"Okay, you know that obligations are always first and I'm happy that Joel can pick you up" Kai stands in front of me with one piece of grapefruit and slide it in my neck leaving a trace all over he quickly put his hand in lower back and put his lips in my neck liking slowly all over. And I'm controlling my moans I have to end this call as fast as I can
"Papi can I call you back I'm a little busy with my hands" I quickly say
"Si mami te llamo despues te amo (yes, princess I call you later, I love you)" he says and ends the call and a moan escapes my mouth.
He slowly touches my lips and I push my tongue and he do the same and I can immediately feel the electricity all over my body again, how he can do this making me feel this way. He slowly pulls away and I whimper already missing his touch.
"your going somewhere?" he asks, and he scans my body "you look good today" and pulling me closer to him, then lowering his hand griping my ass, and I slowly push away not making it awkward.
"um, no I just came from work"
"you went to work and you already here" he says with a confuse expression
"yes, is late already"
"no isn't it's only nine am"
"well is late for me" I start preparing coffee one of my favorites Café de Olla with cinnamon with and panela my mom usually but some orange, but I don't, well I do this because it can entertain me just to try and avoid any conversation.
"Okay" he says with annoyance and I turn around and see his face "I just thought that you were mad at me and you left me there" what? This man is insecure like grade A insecure.
"why would you think that?" seriously.
"I don't know, maybe because I just make you do something that you didn't want to do" okay that probably he is right.
"is not because I didn't want to do it, is because I don't do it, I haven't seen myself in a mirror for years now"
"how long?"
"five years" I don't know why I can be honest to him; I don't use any mask I don't have a to lie, I just know him for 6 days and he knows me better than anyone the real me.
"wow, that is long?"
"Yes" I say while I'm concentrated in the stove adding coffee. And I can see how he is sitting in the counter in the reflection of the microwave. I grab a mug and pour some coffee in it and ask him "want some?"
"what is that?" he asks, his eyes reflect curiosity.
"Coffee" he looks at me with doubt but nods "I don't know if you will like it because I prepare it differently" I put the coffee on his hands, and I take a sip of mine. And sit quietly he doesn't ask any questions, but now is my turn.
"why are you here in the in America or you grew up here?" I ask
"I move two years ago; I don't want to talk about the why"
"yeah it's fine" I say as I take another sip. And he looks at me
"this is good, I actually like it" he says pointing at his mug of coffee, then he tries to cover his smile taking another sip but not covering his right dimple.
"yeah I know that is why I like it, is café de olla"
"what?" he says
"forget it" I say as I open a cherry lollipop and put it my mouth I know is a bad idea to eat a lot of sugar this early in the morning, but I have the option of this or grab a cigarette and I know if I do it right know I will finish a whole packet today. I take my boats out and check the time just to make sure that is still early, let my hair down, this is the longest it have ever had it is just down my hips almost all the way my ass, I just move my hair a little just to move it out of my face, I check my phone and I have a new message...
+ Anastasia: need 2 talk 2 u. +
Probably she saw Kai and I yesterday I was to out of energy that I don't even notice, I text her back.
+ Me: see ya after class. +
Suddenly Kai raise my chin to look at him, he takes my lollipop out of my mouth and whimper and I slowly bite my lips and the liking it is taking all the sweet of my lips.
THE FIRST PART OF THIS POST IS TOUCHING BUT I DIDN'T CRY THIS TIME I SWEAR ;)
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Storie d'amore"tell me Lex what are you afraid of?" that is the thing that I don't want to tell him, but I am so curious at all he was saying before that eventually I will show all my fears with no words. "I not afraid of anything, just go" I need him to go I can...