Design of the Heart

14

I sat there and ate my sandwich and carrots in piece. I had already answered everyone else back who had messaged me and was almost finished eating once Jossilyn came back out.

"Almost done?", she asked coming over to sit next to me.

"Yep, just a few more carrots and then I'll be finished. What movie did you pick?"

"The Princess Bride"

"Oh, I love that movie!" I finished my dinner and took my plate to the kitchen, "Do you want popcorn or anything to snack on while we watch the movie?"

"I mean it wouldn't really be a movie night if we didn't would it", she laughed.

I made us popcorn and she got us each a water from the fridge to drink. We started out laying on the bed together with the popcorn in between us, but by the end of the movie we had finished our popcorn and were cuddling. After the movie was over neither of us moved to change it or get up. We just laid there in peace and enjoyed each other's company.

"What does this mean?", Jossilyn asked, breaking the silence, after a bit.

"What do you mean?", I asked sitting up and turning to face her now.

"Well, we have been hanging out a lot recently and flirting and stuff when it's just us, but when we are around other people you don't. Are you embarrassed of me?"

"No, please don't ever think that. I just assumed that after the media said something last time and you got a bunch of hate that you wouldn't want people to know. I would love to do nothing more than to tell everyone right now that you are mine and I am yours. But I know that dealing with hate can be hard for some people and I know that no matter how happy we are or how perfect we picture ourselves to be online people are going to hate on us and I don't want to ruin what we have before it even has a chance to really go anywhere."

"So, you're not embarrassed of me, my family, or my friends?", Jossilyn asked sitting up and looking at me as well.

"No, I couldn't care less what people thought of who I choose to surround myself with. You make me happy and I'm not going to let anyone tell me that I shouldn't be with you just because you may live a different lifestyle or not have as much money as I do. I don't care that you don't have a lot of money. I only care how you make me feel, and you make me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. I love the way you care about not only what I do, but how I'm doing and how I feel. So if you want to tell the world that we are together then go for it because I would love nothing more than to call my sisters and tell them all about you, but I know that as soon as I do they are going to tell my parents and then the whole world is going to know."

"Oh, I guess I never thought of it that way."

"Yeah, I guess I just assumed that you wouldn't be ready to tell people yet, I'm sorry. Do you want to tell people, love?"

"I mean I wouldn't be against telling our friends, but I don't think that we should go completely public with it yet. Maybe we should get to know each other a bit better and stuff before we tell the whole world", she laughed.

"Whatever makes you happy, love.", I smiled leaning in for a kiss.

After pulling back from the kiss Jossilyn whispered, "I love you".

We both sat there speechless after she said it. I couldn't believe that she felt the same way I did, or that she had the guts to say it.

Jossilyn got a worried look on her face and got up from the bed, "I'm going to go get some fresh air".

At that point I realized that I had still not said anything back after she told me that she loved me and I felt so bad. I got up wrapped myself in one of my blankets and followed after her. I found her standing on the back porch leaning over the railing. "I love you too", I said walking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her.

"You're just saying that because I said it first", she said refusing to turn around and look at me, but I didn't need to see her face to hear the sorrow in her words.

"Tonight when you came over and were upset, not because I hadn't messaged you but because I hadn't eaten, that is when I knew for a fact that I loved you. I thought it yesterday when we were laying under the stars last night, but was too nervous to say it then. Tonight wrapped in your arms after watching the movie I felt it then, but didn't want to scare you off. And tonight after you said it to me I froze, I couldn't believe that you actually loved me too, and I guess I forgot to say it back I'm sorry."

Jossilyn turned to me with tears in her eyes and smiled, "You really mean all of that?"

"Yes, every word.", I said kissing her on the cheek. "I'm not going to force you to come in yet if you don't want to, but if you are going to stay out here at least take my blanket. It's a bit chilly and you are only in a t-shirt and shorts.", I said taking the blanket off me and putting it on her shoulders.

I walked back inside leaving Jossilyn on the porch with her thoughts. I took our popcorn bowl and empty drink bottles to the kitchen and turned off the tv from our movie date. I was in the middle of remaking the bed when Jossilyn came in and started helping me. We made the bed in silence, but it wasn't like an awkward silence it was more like a comfortable silence. After making the bed we got in and cuddled until we fell asleep