Haplos ng Hangin (Yutang Bulahan Series #3)

HNH - 35

THE DECISION.

I watch Mama Hector and the other executives of the series I’m in. I have a formal meeting with them. Nauna ko nang sinabihan si Mama Hector kanina and I didn’t like what he reacted. He remained silent, just like what he’s doing now, that’s why I didn’t like it. Mas nakakatakot kapag naging tahimik si Mama Hector.

“What did you just say, Sandi?”

“You want to end your contract here? Oh no- scratch that… you want to end your career here in Hollywood. The Hollywood, Sandi?” The woman, middle-aged, looks at me through her glasses. Eyeing me intently.

“You still have an upcoming series, movies with Marvel, Disney, and Warner Bros. Your projects are still lining up, Sandi. You can’t just leave like that.”

I feel like I’m in a thesis defense panel. I am the presenter and they are the panel. Ginigisa nila akong lahat at heto ako sa gitna, nakatayo habang naghihintay kung sino ang magsasalita sa kanila. Hindi sila pumapayag sa gusto kong mangyari. They care about my upcoming and current projects. I care about it, too, but I must take care my feelings for him. I know I have the lifetime but it feels like I need to do it now or it’s gonna be never for the rest of my life.

I glance at Mama Hector, he remain silent. Nagawa niya pa nga’ng mag-enjoy sa cup of coffee niya, with crossed legs and comfortable sitting arrangement. While everybody in this conference room feels like on fire. Hot na hot malaman ang rason kung bakit biglang ayaw ko na sa ganitong spotlight.

They even assured me that my latest issue will be covered-up. Easy peasy lang daw sa kanila. But I don’t care about the issue anymore. I said sorry to Mikan. And when I will go back to the Philippines, I’ll formally ask sorry to him, for what happened. Nailatag ko na ang plano ko noong isang gabi habang nagkukulong ako sa kuwarto ko. And I am determine to do it. Whatever it takes.

Marami na rin naman akong natutunan sa anim na taon ko sa industriyang ito. I learned how to be contented with what you have. This international stage is too much for me. Maging isang magaling na artista sa Pilipinas lang naman ang talagang pangarap ko. I never dreamed of this international spotlight but I am lucky enough God gave me this. And I am forever thankful for that.

Pero bukod sa may kailangan akong habulin sa Pilipinas, nararamdaman ko sa sarili kong hindi para sa akin ang spotlight na ito. Hindi habang-buhay sa ganitong industriya iikot ang mundo ko.

Naghihintay akong magtama ang tingin namin ni Mama Hector para makahingi ako ng tulong sa paggigisang ginagawa nila. Pero ni pasada ng tingin ay hindi man lang niya ibinigay sa akin.

“I know it’s hard for me to let go the industry that helped me for where I am today. But there are certain things I need to risk and this time, I need to risk my career… for the love of my life.”

“The love of your life- what the hell, Sandreanna? What are you thinking?”

And now he’s reacting. I smile at the back of my head as I watch him overlamenting to what I just said. Sa lahat ng relationships ko for the past six years, hindi siya agree sa lahat ng iyon. He always laments about it but I just shrugged it off. Kaya sa tingin ko, big deal sa kaniya ‘yong narinig niya sa akin.

Mama Hector stands abruptly. Pati ‘yong assistant niya, lumapit na sa kaniya para pakalmahin siya. Pinapaypayan at inabutan ng tubig. But he decline everything at nakapamaywang na humarap sa akin. He then advance to me.

“Love of your life! Who are you in a relationship right now? Mind telling me?”

Napatingin ako sa ibang taong nandito bago bumalik ang tingin sa kaniya. He still has this shock on his eyes.