Emma Grace Tomlinson

Chapter 51

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I meant to update sooner but I got distracted! Sorry... I started reading a new book and well... you know how it is.... Sorry again.

ANYWAY!

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- Hayley

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Chapter 51

Emma’s POV

 

 

I walked into the house and slammed the door tightly. I knew Eleanor was at a doctor’s appointment, and I knew Louis was at the studio. So I was alone.

I trailed up to my room, ignoring the welcoming yaps coming from Hope and she ran around the floor of the living room.

My phone ringing brought my from my thoughts. I rolled my eyes and pressed the phone to my ear, not really in the mood to speak to Lacey.

“Yes?” I answered, my voice dripping in annoyance.

“No need to be rude.” She remarked.

“Like you were when you silently sided with Zeke today, thanks for that by the way.” I replied sarcastically, and I could almost see her rolling her eyes and placing her hand on her hip.

“He had a point Emma, he asked me to call you and talk some sense into you-“I cut her off.

“No, Lacey, he didn’t have a point. He had no reason to ever yell at me. This is my life, I will live it the way I want, I don’t need his approval, or yours, or Maggie’s, or even Louis’s or Luke’s. I want to go to school in Sydney. I want to be with Luke, and I’m sorry that y’all are so jealous that you can’t be happy for me. But I wasn’t asking for your permission to move, I was telling you so you could prepare yourselves.” Getting ready to hang up. “Oh.” I added. “I don’t want to talk to you, Maggie, and especially Zeke until you’re ready to apologize!” And with that I end the call and threw the phone onto the bed.

I sat myself down on the floor and let my tears run free. I never wanted this to happen. That stupid dream never told me choosing Luke meant losing my friends. I didn’t think I’d be able to go to school next week. I couldn’t face them. And I sure as heck wasn’t apologizing, not first at least.

I needed to numb myself. But Louis locked away all the wine, and that was the only alcohol in the house that I knew of. Zayn would never allow me to take a cigarette from him, and I wouldn’t ask the druggies from school, they’d bust me out in a second to the paps.

I looked at myself in my bathroom mirror, looking at my pale face when my eyes caught on and object in my bathtub.

Don’t.

I turned slowly, picking the razor off the shelf and holding it my hand.

Emma, I said stop.

I threw it to the ground, watching shatter before picking up the blade, holding it tightly in my hand.

Remember how bad it got last time? Would you really like to repeat that?

I closed my eyes and placed the blade on my wrist, pressing slightly.

Are they really worth it? Are you going to let them win?

I pressed harder, blood slowly made its way to the surface. I didn’t feel the pain though, as I raked the blade up my forearm.

You just let them win, hope your happy with yourself. You failed, again.

This only pressed me harder. I pulled up my other sleeve and did the other arm, ignoring the blood on my clothes, ignoring the blood on the floor. I didn’t care. I didn’t care that Eleanor or Louis could walk in at any moment. I didn’t care that I’d just let Lacey, Maggie, and Zeke win. I didn’t care that I’d be leaving in less than a month to travel across the world to be alone with a guy.

I didn’t care. All I cared about at that very moment was getting numb.

And that’s exactly what I did.