20 ♢ gentle into the night

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  Oliver mercilessly flung a glass bottle against the wall of the hotel room before collapsing into a sobbing heap

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Oliver mercilessly flung a glass bottle against the wall of the hotel room before collapsing into a sobbing heap. The past twenty-four hours had not been kind to him.

  After begrudgingly returning home from his godfather's party his phone was blasted with calls from his father. But could he blame him for acting the way he did? He had once again gotten so close to reconciling with someone he cared about before everything came crashing down like it always did. Oliver couldn't understand why people treated him like he was poison. They were disgusted and terrified of him.

  Of course his father didn't actually know about Charlie. Could Oliver ever tell him? It wasn't that his father was homophobic but he sure seemed like he was Oliver-phobic because everything Oliver did seemed to anger him. Or at least that's what Oliver believed.

  He knew that his father's next move would be to come over to his house but the last thing Oliver wanted was to see him so he booked a room in a nearby hotel to escape him, even if only temporarily. It was at the hotel that he was struck with a reminder of something that put him in such a hysterical state.

His phone had buzzed from an email and when he opened it he found a confirmation request from a hotel in Venice that he was meant to have checked in at the previous night. He had momentarily forgotten why he had booked the suite before suddenly remembering. It was Nora's birthday week and he had planned a trip to Italy for them months beforehand. It was meant to be a surprise for her.

He then glanced at the calendar at the bottom of the screen and, upon seeing the current date, burst into tears. He had forgotten all about her birthday.

The previous year they had a fabulous dinner in an undersea restaurant in the Maldives before spending the remainder of their week alternating from the beach to the bedroom. The year previously Nora's agency threw her a birthday/going away party in their main HQ in Paris. Oliver and Nora then spent a total of ten days there, exploring all the elite spots and avoiding the tourist-ridden ones. Every year they planned something fun and expensive for the two of them. It was an annual reminder of how happy they were with each other.

  There was a string quartet waiting for their arrival at Venetian hotel thousands of miles away. They probably thought Nora and Oliver were simply running late.

  The shattered glass crunched under his shoes as he walked over to grab another bottle.

  Oliver wanted to see Charlie again. He wanted to apologise even though he wasn't entirely sure what to apologise for. Maybe his spectacle the previous night had been a tad over-the-top but his display was more embarrassing for him than Charlie. Was he meant to apologise for choosing Nora over him? Did Charlie not understand that he had to choose Nora? For continuity, for peace, for their five year relationship.

Was he sober? Oliver couldn't even tell anymore. His mind felt blurry and sore and electric. And sad. He felt an eternal sadness that weighed him down. And disappointment. And self-hate.

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