Fire In The Mountains ( NESSIAN FANFIC)

Chapter 3

Nesta

I couldn't sleep, the wind was too cold, and my thoughts were brutally fixed on that hazel eyed Illyrian, I couldn't stop, but I couldn't feel either, it hurts to feel anything, it hurts when I so badly want to tear up but they don't come out. It hurts when I hurt him, or anyone. But it doesn't matter. Cause there's only pain and desperation and chaos that I feel. When I close my eyes, I see ghosts chasing me around, and when I open them I am left alone. I don't know which one is worse. With him I am different, I want to be different, I want to be myself, show him but I cant because he is the only one who thinks can still have me around and not flinch, or back down, or stop trying. I close my eyes as his words from earlier seeps down my soul, striking me. My body was back to shivering in the dark. I can't put up with darkness, it makes me see red. I feel like I am dying all over again, like I am fighting against the cauldron, I count my breathing, but it did nothing to stop me from hallucinating that indeed I was trapped again, My back arched, I felt my veins popping and I let out a scream. And there was nothing, my eyes were damp when I opened them after a few minutes and the room was empty, I am so used to having some male fae around my body or legs or anywhere that after a while waking up alone seems strange. This never happened before, Me shrinking like this. It was like I could hear the oceans, rushing over to destroy, The rocks shattering, people, faes, animals, dying, everyone dying all around. Chaos, so much chaos. It happened the first time, when the war had ended, the next I had demanded to be able to live somewhere else. Not where everyone can hear me, see me, try to rescue me out of this phase of me being whatever I was . I made sure this doesn't happen again, I partied till late, gambled, got drunk inshort, tired and drunk enough that my mind won't think, feel or do or process anything. That was somehow one of the reasons why I did all the stuff and now was kicked out of Velaris. I grab a shawl from my bag and head downstairs, it's early morning perhaps, the dawn could be seen through the windows, I crack the door open and step out, I cant see anyone yet, the tents are still closed up so I walk ahead. I don't want to meet or see anyone. I cover myself up a bit more, the wind freezing me to my bones and walk ahead towards the mountains, when I stop on the edge, a huge river flowed down below, there was no passage to go to the other end. I just stood there looking down, so slim, and devastatingly beautiful, The glaciers stood there tall and stagnant, the river curving, dipping, making till the end of it as it flowed down the steep into the main stream. I stayed there watching in silence, the sun started to rise, The wind hollowed as I stiffened when I felt him. The land shook, as he landed on one of his kness in front of me, literally on the edge. It was an instinct to hold him upright, when he stumbled. And he grinned. "So the sun does rise from the west." His smile only widened when I let go of his leathers with a jerk. "And good morning to you too Nes-ta!" he pops the last syllables and I stop myself from shouting. "Don't call me that." He raises his brows in confusion. "You don't like it when I call you Nes, you don't want me calling you by your name, what shall I call you then?" he hmms for a bit and dips his head lower, my back straightens and hands crush the dress that I am wearing, his eyes not even blinking and looking in mine. Possessively, heatedly. He touches my chin, inclining my head, I close my eyes when I feel his breath on my ears. "How about, sweetheart?" His breath is warm against my ears in this chilled weather and I let out a whispered moan. "He levels his face to mine and I can feel the smile he must be having. He brushes away a tendril of hair. "Looks like you can't agree more. Sweetheart it is then!" He clasps his hand I open my eyes, Jerking him away as I try to control my beating. He howls a laugh at my miserable face and I grunt. Always playing around. That's Cassian.

Cassian

Damn me, if this isn't interesting, Nesta Archeron, grunting and giving me a stink eye, cause her body betrayed her. Her hands are around her chest, all of it possessively wrapped in the red shawl. I can still hear her heart race. And it takes all in me to let her know mine is beating the same. Actually fiercer than hers. It took all of me  to not just give in, when she totally was willing to oblige. But I know her, she would willingly do all of this and then blame me or worse end it when she wants. It was always like that. But this time she needs to know who is in charge, after all not to be territorial but it's my land and she thinks she does but she doesn't know a 10 about me. We needed some time to loosen up and I needed to know, what's eating her up. Because sooner or later she'll have to open up about it and strangely so, I kind of wanted to be the first one she confides in. "Why are we even here?" she speaks her voice back to being distant, cold. "You didn't give anyone a choice, but to kick you out. Feyre was worried about you, and that worried Rhys, which made Azriel and Mor and Amren agree. Elain thought maybe it would be the best for you to have a distraction." And Because they care and want you celebrating, sharing, enjoying together with them. I leave this part out and stare at the Illyrian females already up and about their household tasks. "And why of everyone are you here? You are the last thing I needed." She mutters the last sentence so so silently that it wasn't even audible, but fae ears do magic. I don't bother with the latter as I reply. " They didn't want you to die of boredom. Passion is necessary. And you are so very passionate about me, aren't you, sweetheart." This time I do get a shove that makes me unbalance. And still I grin like a teenage boy, whose head is in his pants.

"Fuck you." She says and stomps away.

"Oh please do." I can't stop the chuckle that escapes me when she glances back at me, her blue-greens shining with rage, and her cheeks roughened with red. She takes my breath away with hers.

I am so fucked. 

AHEM! looks like things have turned savage....Wanna read more ahead, then give me a boost guys, like, share and comment. Mother knows I need them.