Fire In The Mountains ( NESSIAN FANFIC)

Chapter 15

Nesta

Just a few hours and all of this is gonna be over, I repeat this in my head while doing everything they made me. I am gonna fly over to where they tell me I belong. I just need to wait for the Doves and Eagles. I am trying not to think of the fact that my life can truly change. I will finally know who I am, and what I am. Just a little more time....

This is hard would be an understatement of the era. I am trying, Mother above knows I am. I am on the last hour playing along with the sword and other weapons. In front of me is Cassian with a sword in his hand. Devlon said, Cassian has always been the one to fight along when one is challenged to portray oneself as worthy for the Illyrian training. My breaths are coming hard, as I stare at Cassian, the rounds before that had already drained me out. And he knows this, His face is calm and collected, like it always is. But there's this fire in his eyes, A rock shattering thunder in his stride as he closes in on me, our swords clash, and I grit out as its force almost makes me fall. Lord Owen, wasn't using this much force, But Cassian, he was all in it, I am trying to back myself, just one clash and i am almost to the ground, No way I would be able to live after this. I try to force his sword back to his chest, when he himself backs away, As he steadies himself, I leap myself up on him, and attack, It takes him off guard but no harm done, He isn't advancing towards me anymore, and that leaves me to throw my attacks, he is quick to defend, quick to move out the way, I am near frustrated when I see him grin and that is all i need to advance forward with full force, He is on the ground, as I sit over on him, both of our swords between us, nearly at his neck, He isn't giving his all, I can see with the way his eyes are on me, surprised and full of ...awe maybe? I yell over at him, "Yield, Now!" I can hear loud gasps, coming over from people but i don't bother to look around. Cassian cocks his head, the sword dancing back and forth between his neck and my chest, "One thing you should always and forever remember Nesta is..." Before I could know or move, I am on my back, with him standing, his sword at my neck, and mine lying somewhere on the dirty mud. "I never yield. It isn't in my blood, my bones, my heart." I hear a loud thud of a bell indicating the fight has ended. This didn't even last 7 proper minutes. Freaking hell. Cassian's eyes are empty, but there was a flash of something i missed. He doesn't even give me a hand to stand and instead moves away without a look to anyone. I stand up, and it's tough to tell what aches more, my body or my mind. I am so confused, so irritated, so harsh on myself. I don't wanna climb the mountain anymore, I don't wanna do anything but escape this, Escape this moral of proving myself worthy of something I don't even want. I follow an Illyrian women in a camp where she takes my hand, and rubs a balm on it, I hiss at the sudden coldness and then wonder where i even got it? She even puts some aid on my forehead, I didn't even realise I had blood flowing out of me. The lady looks over at me after aiding me up. "You were good." She tells me and moves out before i could say a thanks.

As i come out of the tent, Every single person moves his head towards me, Slowly i see the line breaking out and Feyre and Elain standing over there. There's an urge inside me that makes me want to just run over at them and just plead them to take me out of here. Cassian is standing along with them, still not looking at me. His eyes are on the mountain. I eye up the mountain too, My shudder echoes through the whole camp as a cool wind passes by. My hands are fidgeting at their sides. I wanna say No. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I want Cassian to hear me just this once, I just can't. 

But somewhere I know I can hear a voice that tells me I can. But I won't have to if I don't want to.

Cassian

I take a side glance at Nesta, her head as always up, Hey eyes shine with the spark that makes me weak in my goddamn knees. Her hand is injured, I guess it happened during the fight itself, how did I not notice? Feyre tightens her hands, its like she is digging her nails in her palms and Elain is on the verge of fainting out. And there's Nesta masking it all up. I can feel her eyes on me, I can sense the confusion written on her face, and i don't even know why that is. She thought she would be climbing up alone, oh the hell she is. Nesta is strong, her will is stronger than anyone's but she is still a person, she was a person, a human. With fears, mortality. Her body might have changed, but her mind still processes that way. Of course she is gonna be on the denial to doing this. During the fight, she had been fierce, brave, but she was on the verge of breakdown. Something's eating her up, and I would give anything to know what it is but i don't wanna show her that that affects me.