Fire In The Mountains ( NESSIAN FANFIC)

Chapter 8

Nesta

I stared at Mor, and she stared right back, her gaze icily digging daggers in my eyes. Mor can barely tolerate me and the feelings mutual. For a fact it's because of how Mor judges me for not being there to take responsibility for the household, and let Feyre do all that. In all Let Feyre be damned like that. Then other being how disgusted she was when they found me drunk and all over the bar table, flirting with male faes a few months ago. And the most important one being I knew that Cassian and Mor had a past. They were lovers 5 centuries ago. I know she doesn't like me and Cassian together. She would most likely prefer a faebane than seeing what she just saw. But I couldn't feel anything about in the moment but I smirked, watching Mor's rage taking over her. She seemed wild in the moment, Her pouty red lips were set in a straight line, her frown so big, and her eyes were deadly. I calmed myself, because I knew how my rage can destruct. I cannot fight. I can't lose my temper. But Within a second, Mor was on me, She was breathing fire with her eyes, as she pushed me across the wall, The hit almost made me yelp. I growled. "Enough!" She didn't listen. She came closer pushing me towards the wall again, My back thudding in response. She pointed at me "Don't you ever dare come close to Cassian, I swear it Nesta. I know what you'll do. You'll treat him like shit, just like you did with your sisters, your family. Cassian has a golden soul, He'll only see the good in you, You wouldn't realize how deep he'll fall for you when you'll just even blink. And even when you would you know you'll crush him, I can see it in your eyes. And I can see it in his eyes that he'll let that happen. You'll destroy him. And so I am warning you, Stay the hell away." I push Mor off me. She didn't budge. And then I noticed, she had winnowed out already. I stared for too long where she had broken a vase, on the way out. I picked it up, trying to mend the pieces. It was just too hard. 

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That night, I finally tried to get something in me, no matter how delicious the food was, I always ended up vomiting. Today sleeping was out of question, I just couldn't do that and considering the last two days I had slept plenty, I didn't need to. But those two nights were different, I remember waking up, sweaty and scared but I also remember sleeping intact, and safe. As if someone was there with me, for me. I looked to the right, the windows open, and saw the starlight. The night sky stretched across the gigantic mountains, everything so stagnant, strong and calm. It was cocooning me to  sleep, but as I closed my eyes, Mor's words echoed in my mind. the I couldn't help wondering about what she said. She was right, The inner circle is so fond of each other and Cassian and Mor even more so. Cassian and I were becoming something...Perhaps a relation quite unamned.  But that wasn't anything that I didn't know already. I can feel Cassian' eyes even when I am in a room full of hundred people. I can see his eyes rage and pain, when I am hurting. I have seen his eyes darken when we kissed. But I am  damaged, I was and I still am, maybe I'll always be. And why would he even want me. We are the opposites.  Yet.....yet he feels like me. Like he too is made of fire, and earth and he belongs in chaos and destruction. I closed my eyes, then opened when I  heard a slight knock on the door. I could tell my heart was already beating loud and clear, as if it had sensed who was out there. I sulked deeper in the blankets. He needs to go. We need to stay away. I am wrong for him, and I legit don't deserve him. The knock then turns into slower rhythms. And the door opens. I screw my eyes shut. As I felt him come nearer and nearer, his footsteps not even a silent mull over the posh carpet. He was now standing above me, I didn't dare open my eyes. The chair beside the bed creaked as I felt him settle. I felt my soul burning with the intensity with which he was watching. I could feel it. I don't know how much time has passed, when I felt his even breathing. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at his large form. He was in the chair, His arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed. He was sleeping, Here? And as the confusion cleared, I couldn't help but feel angry at him, Why did he have to make it so hard. Why was he so good to me? I didn't know when the tears had started to appear on my cheek and my chest heaving when his eyes opened. I quickly wiped them, and saw him waking up all disheveled. His hair were a mess, no bun in sight, they were set loose. His eyes were groggy from sleep and he stretched his arms, indicating how uncomfortable the chair must have been. "What are you doing here?" My voice was strained. I couldn't show him any of my emotions. He looked at me, "Oh I just had a long day, and I thought of crashing here tonight." I controlled the hiss that was going to release out of me. "I mean here, in this room, You have your own room here. Sleep there." He made a vulgar gesture. "Meh. I think I'll pass." He was so nonchalant about this. "Leave this room Cassian, Now!" His eyes then finally peaked at me. And he switched the lights on. It almost felt he stripped me naked. When he saw the tears that had stained my cheeks. "You were crying?" His voice was so soft that it was hard to shout or yell at him. "No." I pushed his hands away which were trying to cup my face. "Nesta what's wrong?"

 "What's wrong with you? I said you need to leave the room, Leave it. Who even allowed you inside? You think just because we kissed earlier you can stroll in and out of my room, whenever you felt like it. That kiss today meant nothing to me. I just needed to release the steam. We both know I'd have been in the bar today, kissing some other guy if it weren't for the orders of your High Lord and lady to stay inside." I was shocked beyond words as I finally stopped. Cassian's throat was bobbing, the anger was damaging what was left of my heart. 

"What have I ever done to you  for you to be so mean to me?" His lips were thinned in a line, his eyes already distant. As he still tried to search in me to find out if this was a lie. It wasn't. He stood up from the chair so roughly, that now it knocked down. I looked away when he turned around, a sly smile on his face. "You know what? I think you like me and want me so much Nesta, that it frightens you, There's nothing wrong with me, but I sure as hell can't say the same about you. There's more to us, and you know it. There's this thing between us, that we can't name just yet." 

"Leave, Cassian." My head was throbbing now, and my heart had completely surrendered.

"Good Night....Try to get some sleep tomorrow we start your training." My head swapped up.

"We are going to the mountains?" He nodded. "I was there today and yesterday. Windhaven is still in a bad condition. But there are other places. Illyrians are dwelling in another camp." I can't go back there, They hate me now surely. They didn't like me before but now, I dreaded to even think how it will be. I just can't stay among them, at least not until I figure out my powers and control them. 

"I can't go back in there." I spoke it as softly as I could manage. "And you won't. We'll be training up there." I looked in the direction his finger pointed and saw the big mountain. The heart of the night court. 

"I meant what I said earlier, I don't want to train with you." He snorted. "Of course you are afraid you won't be able to control yourself around me. I understand." 

"Prick." He laughed and sauntered off. I looked at him as he slid out. 

Moments later I found him in the sky, roaring high above in the mountains. As if he felt me watching him, He turned and winked at me. 

I rolled my eyes.

 My eyes shuttered shut, just as I laid down on the bed. It happened to be a long night. And If you are thinking Cassian just left....He didn't, He soon returned and stayed by the window until the dawn broke out. I felt him leave just like I had felt him come back around. What is it between us?

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