Her Sentinel

Chapter 14: Help

Gerry...

Sitting in the basement with Sara, we discuss the possibilities of what will come to pass. Now that Kaylee has given up on fertility, she has been so much happier. After listening to her day in and day out, I now feel so guilty for being callous about getting Kim pregnant. It never occurred to me that so many people were going through such torment to have what was literally handed to me.

Sara asks, "What are you thinking, Gerry?"

Glancing over at her, I reply, "What, you don't know what I was thinking? I want to help her find a baby, but I don't know how."

"I understand that, but that's not really our job. Kaylee is in a good place right now, so let's leave her be for now. Nate is too, and I think they need time. Those two have returned to the way it was, back at the beginning of their relationship in one month's time. I say we promote calm." She states while leaning back in the lawn chair.

Looking around the basement, I get up and walk over to an old doll that is sitting in a box. It's wrapped in a golden blanket and she looks just like my Leah. So small, so innocent, and full of love. I want to help Kay find the child she deserves.

"Stop it, Gerry, and just relax. Whatever will be, will be. Our job is not to bring forth change. Let it go and allow Kaylee to be at peace." Sara says while looking annoyed with me.

Shaking my head, I say, "No, that's not right. We need to work on the WHALL; watch, help, assess, listen and learn, remember. I've been watching Kay for months and it must be time to help her."

"Those are more like guidelines. There is nothing you can do but just go with the flow. I'll let you know when Nate is ready." Sara states.

I exclaim, "Then why am I here? What purpose do we have? Is this all just a waste of time? Wait, Nate isn't ready right now?"

"Wow, what has gotten into you? She just stopped her treatments. Let Kay have some time to be herself without all the chaos. Nate needs his wife, and Kay needs her sanity. Why must she even have a child?" She asks.

Staring at her, I add, "She's 31 years old now and time is ticking away. Does Nate want kids or not?"

"I guess he does, but my great-grandson wants his wife back, too. They have been through hell; in case you didn't notice." She explains, and I see her point.

Then it hits me and I ask, "Why did you..."

"That is none of your business." She barks back before I can finish my question.

I add, "Well, you know all about me. Why did you end your life, Sara?"

She huffs and then says, "Those were different times, Gerry. My husband was not like you or Nate, and I had no say in anything. He left me alone with 5 babies and disappeared for months at a time."

"That's horrible," I reply.

She continues, "He only returned to me when he was drunk or wounded. Being a wife and mother back then differed completely from how it is today. My life was a nightmare that no woman nowadays could endure."

"So, when was this?" I ask.

Sara answers, "It was the mid-1800's, I was alone on the homestead and trying to provide for my children without the help of a husband. The winters were cruel, and life was so hard. Plus, he was never faithful to me. Never, ever faithful... And I had no rights, except how I would make my end."

I look at her, waiting for Sara to continue.

She adds, "Fine, you want to know how I did it? I went for a swim and jumped off of Widow's Peek. It seemed fitting."