Her Sentinel

Chapter 30: Heaven

Gerry...

Standing here in the hallway, I see three groups of people and all of this emotion hits me like this gigantic wave, almost knocking me off my feet. It was all connected.

Looking at the nurse's station, I see Bella with her mother, who is sobbing in pain from the choice her daughter made once again.

She was tearing this family apart, but I think Bella has finally found her right path. She had to want to change, and no one could do that for her.

Then I see my two daughters sitting here with me in the hallway. Trina is twisting my ring on her finger as Katie hugs her sister. I now see what they wanted to show me.

I was selfish... I did not think of my children or the consequences that I cause by my death. My daughters are in pain and have been for years, because of me and the choices I made. To be honest, I never really thought of them, just about what I wanted. They were an afterthought and so was my own wife. I never planned to get to know Kim or to find out about her life, because I was angry with her for something I did. She did not cause the pregnancy. That is my own fault. And what a magical gift I was given. Twin daughters, who I adored, but then deserted.

Looking in the doorway, I see my good friend, holding the daughter she has dreamed of for many years. Her eyes are filled with happy tears as she looks upon her son, touching his sister's tiny toes. Kay's loving husband is completely filled with joy while watching his family all together for the first time. Nate is a good husband and father.

I'd like to believe I helped with this, but I didn't. Kay was determined, and Nate wanted to believe as I followed along and just watched. Mirabella made her choices and Mary had to let her go, as I stood by and watched. Leah was angry, and Katie forgave me, but they still need to heal. As I sit here and watch.

Looking at these people, I did not affect them in death, but I did during my life, and what an amazing life it would have been.

Maybe that was the purpose of all this...

Scott says, "So, what have you learned, brother?"

Turning around, he is standing in the center of this triangle.

"Basically, that being dead, I could not really help any of them. Yes, I could nudge them in the right direction, but they would still choose their own path." I say as he smirks.

He then asks, "No, what have you learned about yourself?"

Thinking for a moment, I answer, "Well, that I should have been there for my daughters and Kim. I never gave any of them a chance, because I believed my own lies. Kaylee was no more than a teenage crush or an idea I should have given up on long ago. She was a fictitious person, that I built up in my mind to hide from the reality of becoming a father. Then there is Bella, who was never going to listen to me. She would do what she wanted and with that, she made my friend's dreams of becoming a mother actually come true."

Scott shouts in anger, "You, brother! What did you learn?"

"I was selfish to take my own life! It was wrong, it was stupid and a waste! It solved nothing. I didn't fix anything and only caused more pain for the people I loved and who loved me. I'm so sorry... I wish things could be different. I saw you take the easy way out and I followed." I exclaim as he nods.

He replies, "Good! I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks."

At that moment, my daughters stand up. They turn and walk down the hall.

My brother says, "Well, I have to go."

"Will I see you again?" I ask.

He smiles and says, "Oh, that's a definite and it looks like you'll be getting a new mission too. Bye, brother."