Forget Me Not (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Chapter XXV

Note: This is short.

Where is she?

The walls are now sealed and the soldiers are ready to depart back from home but where is she?

Someone is missing, and so someone's heart.

How many times Levi felt this kind of pain again? Twice? Thrice? Or more than that? The first time he have been in this kind of situation is when his mother died in the underground. Next was Y/N who he thought died years ago. He suffered an everyday pain, thinking if she is still alive or not, will he ever see her again or not, and fortunately, he did reunited with her. He wants to think that this is just a prank, or he will see her again just like the times he almost lost her. But no. This is a real time situation.

Her friend's expression say it all. Just tell her name and their faces will drop trying to stop themselves from crying. Even Hange who seemed to be positive in every circumstances cannot endure the pain of her lost.

But is she really dead? Her body is not found and she is just missing. Levi still did not see her body lifeless, and so did her comrades. They had checked every corner of the place, called for her and pleaded her to show up or just utter something so that they could hear her. But all of those efforts did only get silence.

"Look around again." Levi ordered as they meet up together after a round of looking. "Levi, there is no sign of her-"

"Shut the hell up Hange. I don't care! All people under my squad, look for her again!" They all obeyed and eagerly checked every corner again like this is the first.

Levi hasn't given up yet. Not now when there is no proof that she is already dead. He can feel that she is still breathing and just waiting for help, waiting for him. She promised that they will see each other again after this battle. Levi is still holding for that. Levi hasn't given her up yet.

He proceeded to continue his searching. There are casualties inside but it is lesser than them who fought a numerous Titans and the Beast Titan. This is actually unexpected since his squad and Hange's squad faced the two deadliest Titans they had encountered and with their quantity, they expected more sacrifices. And although they are surprised, they are thankful for less death. Except for this man who is silently praying for a miracle.

"Damn Y/N please show yourself, this is not funny anymore." Muttered Levi, voice are shaking. He walks very slowly, not missing a chance to see everything around him. He sighed out of frustration.

"Please Y/N don't you dare leave me."

Two days had gone by when the Operation to Retake the Wall Maria succeeded. And it is now two days when Levi is forced to get back in their headquarters. In those days Levi did not go out of his room. He isolated himself from the others. Normally, at time like this when Levi is locking himself in his room, someone will barge in just to disturb him. This time is different. No one has the courage to knock on his door to deliver paperworks or call him for a meal. He doesn't need them anyway, all he want right now is Y/N.

In those days, he is trying to stop himself from breaking down. 'He is strong' he thought. How long will he manage to think that? Without her presence, he is empty and broken.

Why? What did he do to deserve all this pain? Why Y/N does always disappears from his sight making him worry? Why does he always be in this situation? And what Y/N has done to suffer all of this?

He cannot comprehend why. All they had done is to love each other.

Levi is currently sitting at entrance of his office, staring blankly at the wall. His room is in a total mess. It is surprising that he didn't care, or even wince at the sight of his office. The paperworks that are left behind before the mission remained on the floor being scattered, chair is broken and the table is not in its original position. He did not do anything about it. He just sat still eyes are fixed in the ceiling. His throat is getting hurt for holding back his tears. He need to hold on. He is strong. He will not cry. He will not.