MishBir - Captivated Forever

Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Mishti really didn't remember the trip back to Rajkot. As much as she could, she kept herself cocooned deep inside her frozen grief so that she would not have to deal with the rawness of it alone—or in an inappropriate manner again, as she had done with Abir Rajvansh. She felt deeply mortified that she had forced him into kissing her.

She didn't want him to feel the compulsion that he owed her something. This was the 21st century, For God's sake, but she couldn't deny the emotion behind the kiss.

Abir had arranged for a cab until Shimla. Though they were supposed to go to Amritsar and then take a chopper from there, They had been advised to go until Shimla as Amritsar was currently overrun with people who had escaped Jammu and Kashmir.

It wasn't easy travelling 600 kilometres by car. However, Abir had made sure that she was comfortable. They mostly drove around silently. Abir had hired a driver with whom he chatted softly from time to time. Occasionally they talked on topics she could not afterward remember. 

The trip took more than 2 days as the roads were completely filled with cars and lorries, most of them with supplies that would help get the affected town back to normal.

Once, when they had stopped at a small dhaba and Mishti had observed a boy and a girl laughing and enjoying together. She had smiled at them until she realised that they were brother and sister. She had turned pale in an instant and her body was so cold. Abir had seen it ofcourse, and he kept his arm comfortingly about her. They sat thus for an hour or more.

Even through the self-imposed numbness of her heart she was very aware that she now knew him in a different way than before. But he did not refer to it at all, for which she was grateful. She was simply glad that they had somehow found it possible to revert to the friendship they had shared.

It occurred to Mishti that her travelling alone with a man might cause tongues to wag. Their society would speculate and even criticise her for her choices. But she had never cared much for the stupid tongues anyways.

She was no one's concern but her own—and Naksh's, and he would understand once she had explained.

More than anything else in this world she wanted to be home—at their country home in Sighla, at Singhania Mansion in Rajkot, anywhere where her sister and brothers were. Anywhere where Naksh was. Naksh would take the burden from her shoulders. He would know what to do. And yet going home was also what she dreaded more than anything else in this life. How would she face them? What would she say?

They finally reached Shimla after two days and 5 hours of travelling. Abir paid for the cab for which Mishti protested but he reassured her that she could pay him back later. He checked in two rooms for them at a respectable hotel until he could make arrangements for a flight or train to get them to Rajkot.

Mishti : Thank you, Mr Rajvansh. You have been so kind these past few days. Even thank you seems so less compared to what you have done for me. I mean... (gasping) Oh damn! I was so selfish with my intentions that I never realised that you have come back to India after five years. 

And now you are accompanying me to Rajkot.

Abir (smiling) : That's true. But somehow, I'm getting used to going back.

For the first time it struck her that this journey, this arrival, must be almost as great an ordeal for him as for her. He had to meet people he had not seen in five years. Somehow he had to pick up the reins of a life he had been forced to abandon when he was a very young man.

Had she forced him to come before he was quite ready? She looked at him with deep remorse. She could have been speaking to him about these things during those silent hours in the car. Instead, she had been self-absorbed. She would make him the topic of their conversation on the chopper or anytime they sat down for conversation. She would make sure of it.