Goodbye » n.h.

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Niall's POV

I hugged a pillow to my chest, my chin resting on it, while tears silently fell from my eyes. They followed the tear trails down my face and splashed onto the pillow below. My ribs were killing me in this hunched-up position, but I didn't care. The pain of losing Desirah was worse.

I had lost her. I had lost Desirah. I had said some things that I shouldn't have, and now she was gone. She was never going to return, and it was all my fault.

What had I been doing, saying that Isabelle was right? What was I thinking? I hated Isabelle for bullying Desirah like that, but I hated myself more. I had lied to her, protected her too much, and called her names. She was only trying to help me, but I blew up in her face.

I buried my face in my pillow, a hiccup escaping me. Desirah had been gone for a few days now, and most of my cuts were healed. My black eyes were now an ugly brownish-yellow color. My body was physically healing, but not emotionally.

Perhaps my body wasn't feeling as good as I thought. I hadn't left my room for days, so I stank like a decomposing skunk that had been run over one too many times. I was getting very few hours of sleep. I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, much less the feeling of hunger.

But Desirah leaving had an effect on all of us. Harry was upset because she hadn't called or texted like he asked. Liam wasn't as much fun anymore. Zayn and Louis didn't play MarioKart against each other, because they claimed that it wasn't the same without Desirah.

My phone dinged, signaling that I had a notification. I forced myself to roll over and grab it from my nightstand. It had been off for days, but not anymore. I had told myself that if I ever received a text or call, I would check it, because maybe people wanted to check on me. I wasn't going to be a jerk and abandon the rest of my friends.

The notification was from Twitter. I tapped on it and I was brought to my notification page. My favorite account on Twitter had sent out a tweet. About time, too. It had been almost two months since she last posted a meaningful tweet. But it wasn't her usual.

Why was I even still following Desirah on Twitter? I knew that she wanted me out of her life, so why was I still here? I decided that after I read this tweet, I was going to unfollow her. Just like she would want me to.

@ForeverAlone13: to my beloved

There was a video link attached to her tweet. She hadn't tagged anyone specific, but who else could be her "beloved"? It had to be me! She still liked me? I hoped to death that she did. I still liked her.

I plugged in my earbuds and tapped on the video link. The screen turned black, but then I saw a very old, familiar sight. Desirah was back in her dorm room at MQAAFGG, her guitar obscuring most of her body. I could only see her from the lips down.

"This song is dedicated to the person I once... I still love," she corrected herself with a sigh. "You know who you are. If you see this, I just... I'm sorry for everything I put you through. The song will explain the rest."

Her message brought fresh tears to my eyes. Only Desirah could make me emotionally unstable like this. Her, and sweet family movies with sad endings.

But anyway, she thought she had been just a bother to me? No way! She was the greatest girlfriend a guy like me could ever ask for. She had been my other half. How could I have let her go?

Desirah started strumming her guitar. I didn't recognize the melody, nor the first few lyrics she sang. But when she got nearer to the chorus, I figured it out. It was Regina Spektor's "The Call". I only knew that from watching Narnia. Sad, right?