Diary of a Missing Piece

Scene 15 - Bare the secrets

Part 14 of F  L  A  S  H     B  A  C  K

Monday morning. I was having my breakfast at the taproom. Since the first time I went to school early and even until now, I often eat my breakfast here.  Maybe Ashley's in the library, Ooops, here she is, coming.

"Hey you, spoof Reid! Why did you left us? It was supposed to be our friendship date but what happened to you??" she said in a quizzical way.

"So you're trying to say that I shouldn't leave you? Well, is it my fault? I got bored because of that Brandon! I was like a dumb between you guys! Yea, it was supposed to be our date! OUR DATE! Only the two of us and not with him!" I was carried away by my hard feelings that made my temper flies.

"My goodness, Reid! What an immature thinking! It was just Brandon, my childhood friend whom I haven't seen for almost 8 years, can't I have the right to merge him with us??"

"That's it! You avidly wanted to be with him, you wanted a time with him, then I gave it! Was the fault still mine??" I walked out and left her hanging without a single word. 

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I didn't want to start a fight but I think. . . the pain's too much.  I prefer to be alone at this moment.  

Days passed yet we were not making up with each other. I still don't wanna talk to her since she was always with that dude, Brandon.  

First class has ended. I was fixing my things and about to get out but Ashley drew nearer and asked me for a talk. I agreed. Well, maybe it's about time to fix everything between us.

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We were sitting on a bench. Wind was blowing, portraying a moment of silence. She was staring at me and then started speaking in a very light way.

"Reid, I'm sorry. I should have minded your feelings first before mine. Look, you're my best friend and I certainly don't wanna lose you. Can we make it up now?"

I just nodd as a sign of yes. I can never resist her since she's my best friend and I love her that much!

"Best friends?"  she handed me her hand.

I smiled and had a "shake hands" with her, "Best friends."

She was so happy that she hugged me perfectly at once. 

"I missed you so much, Reid! I did! I did!"

"I missed you too. But Ashley... ahmmm... there's something you should know.  I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."  I can't handle it anymore, she needs to know what I really feel for her.

"Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault at all." 

I opened my bag and get the box tied with ribbon. It was the necklace I bought for her. "Here, I really wanted to give you this."

"A gift? But it's not my birthday yet, why are you giving this to me?" Ashley seemed so curious about it.

"Just open it."

She did what I asked her to do. I can't explain her reaction when she saw the necklace. 

"It looks familiar... Wait, I remember this necklace."

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Ashley had a flashback. She reminisce what she had said during the time when she took a pause and stared at the diamond necklace in Manhattan Mall. "Yea. It's beautiful. How I wish someone could give this to me. Isn't it wonderful to receive a diamond necklace from a good looking man?! Ohmigosshh! It's a day-dreaming once again!"

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"You wanted a good-looking man to give you a diamond necklace, right?  If only I was a man... I'm sorry Ashley but I can't be a man, a man who can lawfully love you." tears have fallen from my eyes because I know that she can never understand what I feel for her. 

"Reid, what are you talking about?! What's this?! Why are you acting like that?! I don't get it!"

"I love you, Ashley! I love you! I love you more than a best friend! Is it really hard for you to get it?! I know you'll never accept this feeling but I just couldn't help myself from falling in love with you!"

Ashley started crying. "Liar! You promised me you'll never be one of them! You're just like those lesbians who think they're so cool! Do you really want to be like them?! Tell me, you're acting as if you're in love with me just because you want to be like those popular lesbians in school, right?!"

"Of course not! Why would I lie about my feelings?! I never wanted to be like them! And it was not my intension to fall for you. Ashley, please listen, I . . . I . . . I'm sorry but I love you."

What else should I expect? 

I knew it from the start, she can never love me the way I love her. 

My heart shattered as she turned her back and went away.

I want her to stay with me but I guess... the end has started.  

I lost her. 

I lost my best friend.

It kills me inside.

It

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HURTS.    >:'(