Poprocks and coke

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮-𝙨𝙞𝙭

"Its pure bullshit," I mumbled, looking up at the ceiling as I continued to pull my jumper sleeves over my hands and tugging on the extra fabric.

I was sprawled out, in an almost starfish position now as I let my arms flop back and hit the carpet.

"Maybe he's not wrong," Coby admitted, as he looked down on me from sitting on his bed and leaning over the edge to make eye contact with me who was on the floor.

"You can't be real right now Coby,"

"I'm afraid so. He's got a point, plenty actually,"

"But I'm entitled to being selfish... aren't I?" I began to question if I really was, as I slowly sat up on the floor. I turned my back and looked over at Coby, who was sat crossed legged on his bed looking straight back at me.

"Course you are, doesn't mean you should use them though,"

"Then what are they for?"

"They don't have to be for anything. Not constantly whining about your moms absence at home isn't an out of jail free card to being an ass,"

"Jeez, alright no sugar on that then,"

"I don't need to sugar coat this Blaze. You're. Being. An. Ass,"

"Alright alright! Fucking hell I get it you're on Billie Joes side!"

"I am! Blaze why don't you wanna go to Rome?"

"Because I have all my friends here?" I answered in a 'duh' type of tone.

"And...?"

"And cause of Billie..."

"Exactly. You don't wanna leave because you love someone that's here. Your mom might not wanna stay because the person she loves lives in Rome. It's a hypocritical situation you're both in. Maybe you both should have what you want with out each other,"

I sighed, not annoyedly this time. But sympathetically. Self pity filled sigh. "But I don't want her gone forever,"

"Its not forever Blaze." He pouted, uncrossing his legs as he swung them over the bed and leaned over to me. His tone was gentle, seeing the change in mine from being rude to dull. "She'll come visit, maybe you'll be able to visit her. She'll call, send post cards, updates, money, she'll still be your mom,"

"Why can't she a mom like yours, whose there?"

"I don't know Blaze, really I don't. It is shit that she's gonna fuck off to Rome for some dude with a basic name like David, I know that. But if that's what she wants to do, maybe just let her... y'know?"

"Maybe..."

~

I walked back home quietly, no one was in. My mom, at best bet, was out with David.

I think David was staying at a hotel while he was waiting for his question to be answered. And soon enough would be going back to Rome, maybe with my mom.

I went to my room, turning on every single light I passed to make home seem less eerie and more home. I had school again tomorrow, and work to catch up on... plenty of it.

For a while, it was just lonely me sat at my desk. Trying to concentrate in the silence of the house as I filled sheets of paper with random babbly bullshit. Scribbling down random sentences and notes. Scrawly sloppy handwriting that was floating and falling off the lines of the paper.

I could hardly focus. Thinking about how Billie was angry at me and how my mom was actually okay with leaving me.

I still had a chance to ignore them, do the selfish thing and beg her to stay. But if I was really going to put myself to do that I would have to do it as soon as I could... but I was still debating weather it really was the right thing to do.

In this decision... I had three options.

Number one: Move to Rome.

Move into some huge house with David and my mom, in a completely different country. Leaving all my friends, my memories, my everything back here. To be somewhere where I would have to start again. For a none Rome type of person to live in Rome, complete disaster.

Number Two: Beg mom to stay.

Confident and cocky, if I was to guilt, beg, plead and bargain my way through... I could get her to stay home with me. Sure, she might still go away for a few weeks to see David. But she would still be here.... with. Me.

Number Three: Stay home, let mom move.

I stay here, with all my friends, memories, everything. And let her move to Rome. A Rome type person in Rome, with a rich man called David. Living the dream, ditching her daughter and filling up the miles between them with money, paid bills and postcards.

But then... I realised. If she stays with David... say- forever. They'll have to move together at some point. And if they don't, she'll come back.

So maybe, even pushing away my selfish desires, it was technically correct to just let her leave.

So can I ring Billie back yet? Am I done being arrogant?

I picked up my phone, ringing his number as I sat impatiently under the lamp shade light that was on my desk. My hand resting in my hair, tugging at the roots from stress.

The ringing stopped, I checked the line to see he had picked up. "Billie?" I asked quietly. There wasn't a response. Maybe he really was annoyed. "Billie? Hey- I'm- I'm done with being arrogant now,"

"You sure?"

"Y'know that thing you said about calling you when I'm lonely? Does that... well- can that still stand? I'm sat in my room on my own under my lamp shade, my light bulb burst last night and I couldn't reach it... even on the desk chair. Its really dull and quiet and I'm not arrogant and selfish anymore, I thought about it. A lot. I swear I mean it this time...? I swear. Will you come over? My moms out somewhere... she only checks the cameras when she's staying away from home. You can stop tonight if you wanna...? I'm not arrogant anymore,"

"I was hoping you would ask me that,"

"Ask you what?"

"To come over,"

"Why?"

"Open your bedroom window," He chuckled slightly.

Confused, I pushed the sheets on my desk to the side with my pens and pencils, I kept the phone to my ear as I stood up out the desk chair. Making my way through the dim lit room to my window.

I lifted the hatch, pulling the window open as I felt the breeze immediately reach my skin. Goose bumps rose up my skin as I ignored them. Squinting over at Billie, who stood under a street lamp.

My rooms window was at the front of the house, being able to see the street and all the street lights that shittly lit up the concrete floor.

He leaned nonchalontly on the lamp post, but as we connected eyes he shot me a smile and stood up relaying on his own legs to keep him up and not something else.

I laughed at him, before ending the call and tossing the phone on my bed. "What are you doing here?" I giggled, my head back out the window as he walked closer to the house.

The breeze was brushing my hair slightly into my face, as it was with Billies mop of blue hair.

"Can I say something?" He shouted up, his smile still there as he bent his neck back to look up at me.

"Of course you can- do you want me to let you in before you do?"

He shrugged. So I left the window, quickly trying to make my way down the stair case as fast as possible with out falling down them all and breaking a bone.

I reached the front door, quickly trying to open it. I had to mess around with the handle, shaking it and pulling it. Lifting it up and down before I was able to pull it open.

That's where Billie stood, on the other side of the door ready.

The breeze had reached me better in front of the open door. As I felt it tickle my face and skin.

"What was it you wanted to say?" I asked gently.

"I got lonely too,"