Problems of adults

Chapter 31 : Awake

Everyone was asleep in the waiting-room. Jane's surgery took more time than they thought. Now it was almost 6 in the morning. But good news was coming. A doctor went to them to announce them that Jane was out of danger for now. She needed a new heart, but the surgery they made could give her some time before needing a transplant. But she was unable to breath correctly as her heart was weak. They felt the effects the best they could by staying silent.

Jane was in a recovery room, but only her family was allowed to see her. As her father wasn't there, only Constance went. The blonde teen followed the doctor through the halls and finally reached her sister's room. Jane was still asleep with nasal cannula in her nose connected to oxygen. Constance had a bad sensation of déjà vu. When Jane had had her Leukemia, she was always connected to machines. Constance felt a pinch in her heart but didn't show it. She entered the room and sat on an armchair next to the bed. 

During the night, Constance went back to their apartment to take some stuff for Jane. She placed Mr. Bear in her sister's hand, hoping it would comfort her. After a few minutes, Jane began to move. She opened her eyes and turned to Constance who was still sitting.

- "Hey," Jane said weakly.

- "Hey," Constance answered with a tired voice.

- "Tell me it's not my Leukemia."

- "It's not."

- "Why am I here then?"

- "You had a heart attack. You have a cardiac malfunction; you need a new heart."

- "Oh..."

- "They operated on you to give you some time. But your lungs don't work correctly too. You'll have an oxygen tank with you."

- "Am I gonna die?" Jane asked.

- "No. I won't let that happen," Constance affirmed.

Jane nodded and let run a tear on her temple. She was so lost, everything happened so rapidly.

- "How could this happen just like that?"

- "Well, um, it won't be easy to hear."

- "I can't feel worse."

- "I'm not that sure."

Jane frowned and turned her head to Constance. She could see that her sister was angry, sad, and worried, but it didn't seem to be just for what happened. When Jane asked her more explanations, Constance began to talk about their father who deliberately didn't tell them, the hospital who preferred calling only him, even when they didn't see Jane coming, and that if they had known before, in one surgery it would have been over.

Jane didn't say a word, still shocked. She couldn't understand how her own father could have abandoned her like that. She was feeling betrayed. She knew he was a dick, but she wasn't imagining him doing something like this. Constance didn't know what to say, she was as shocked and angry as her sister. 

A doctor entered the room to check Jane and to give her more information. She would have to come in the hospital for check-ups every month, and they gave her oxygen bags with nasal cannulas that she would have to put at her belt for now, as her lungs were not too weak. But the doctor warned her that her lungs could deteriorate at any moment and that she would have to be careful. She would need crutches to walk too. As she was still weak, he preferred her not seeing too many people in hospitam, he allowed only one person. Constance didn't need to ask her who she wanted to see; it was pretty obvious.

Constance stood, kissed her sister's forehead, and left the room with the doctor. She slowly walked in the halls and reached the waiting-room where all Jane's friends were still waiting. They all stood when they saw her.

- "She is awake. (looks at Max) You can see her if you want."

Max had a moment of doubt but took her stuff and walked through the halls in direction of the recovery room. She didn't know if she should knock or just opened, so she did both. She lightly knocked before slowly opening the door. Jane weakly turned her head in her direction with no reaction. Max managed to hold her tears, but she was feeling a knot in her stomach. She entered, closed the door, and sat next to Jane. Jane raised her arm and caressed her girlfriend's cheek. Max took Jane's hand and kissed it before letting it against her cheek.

- "I'm sorry for ruining your Winter dance," Jane said, a bit out of breath.

- "Don't say that. I'm happy you're okay."

- "I'm not okay."

- "I know...But you're alive. I was so scared I wouldn't see you ever again," Max sniffed. "I love you."

Jane raised her eyebrows, not expecting Max to say that.

- "I shouldn't say that now because you'll think I say that only because you almost died and that I was scared to not be able to tell you aloud, I'm sorry..."

- "No, no, don't be. I love you too."

Jane had a small smile while Max nervously chuckled, making fall some tears. The redhead kept Jane's hand on her cheek, wanting to feel her the best she could. None of the girls talked, Max holding too much her tears, and Jane too tired to speak. Jane fell asleep. A nurse entered the room and told Max that the visits were over. Max let go Jane's hand with difficulties before leaving the room. She wished she could have stayed longer with her. She went to the bathroom to calm down before joining the others. She just told them that no one could see her now. They all seemed disappointed, but they were relieved that Jane still had a chance. Everyone went outside the building, Bev wrapping her arm around Max's shoulders and offering her a cigarette.

- "Uh...No, thanks."

- "Really? You look like you need one!" Bev stated.

- "I...I'm stopping..."

- "Oh...okay. Why?"

- "Well, maybe because I was smoking a cigarette when my girlfriend had a heart attack! And she can't breathe correctly, it wouldn't be fair to risk my lungs while hers don't work anymore without smoking."

- "Okay. Then, if you stop, I stop."

Beverly warmly smiled to her, to show her that she could count on her, but Max was just able to nod. The redhead was feeling guilty, she should have been there, Jane must have been so scared while Max was just having a good time smoking her stupid cigarette. She was so mad at herself for abandoning her like that.