Problems of adults

Chapter 48 : Some Stuff

Another day began. Constance opened her eyes in her bed and the first thing she was seeing was the ceiling. That cold and grey ceiling. She hated it. She wondered how Jane had done to wake up at this every morning without having a huge depression right after. She sighed loudly with her mouth before finding the strength to get out of her bed. She was cold, as usual. She turned and looked at Jane's bed with pain. She felt guilty when she saw the Teddy bear on the pillow. She was supposed to bring it to her sister, but she didn't have the courage to go back to the hospital to see her sister unconscious, she had seen that enough. She put a pair of pants and went to the kitchen. She was welcomed by Cat who ran to her and meowed in her direction. The blonde teen leaned and took him in her arms.

- "Are you hungry my friend? Let's find some food."

Constance took two bowls from her cupboard, filled them with cat food, placed the cat on the table, and sat in front of the other bowl. The blonde teen began to eat the cat food like if it was cereals and caressed the cat with her other hand. It wasn't that bad, she had been eating that for days now, she was kinda used to the taste. She could have put some milk in her bowl, but she kept the little that was left for the small animal next to her. She stood and change the litter before going to the living-room. She collapsed on the couch, took the remote control, and channel surfed. Everything was boring. She stopped on cartoons; Jane loved watching cartoons. She was taking her moment of break, the cat in her lap, when she heard someone knocking at the door. She rolled her eyes and lightly grumbled. If the person on the other side of the door was thinking it was empty, they would leave, right? So, she stayed on her couch, not wanting to be bothered. But the person insisted and lightly knocked at the door again. Constance stood and went to her door. When she looked in the peephole, she sighed with her nose and closed her eyes, not wanting to see her. She opened the door and said:

- "What do you want!?"

- "I was wondering if my girlfriend was still alive!" Robin replied.

- "I am. Now leave."

Constance was about to close the door, but Robin blocked it with her foot. Constance understood that she wouldn't give up so easily, so she opened the door and invited her to enter. Robin immediately winced when she entered. She felt assaulted by the smell.

- "Damn, you never open the windows!?"

Constance closed her door, crossed her arms, and just shrugged as an answer. Robin frowned more when she noticed the stains of sweat and other things on her clothes.

- "When was the last time you took a shower?"

- "It doesn't matter."

- "Yes, it does! Constance, you can't let yourself go like that!"

- "Why not? I'm alone."

- "It doesn't mean you can't respect yourself a little bit."

- "I don't want to respect myself. I don't deserve respect. I'm a fucking loser. My little sister is in a hospital bed waiting for a new heart while I'm staying here in my own filth, hoping to get a call from hospital to tell me that a random person died and that their heart is going to save my sister! I should feel awful for that, but I don't! And the worse thing is that I could be the person allowing her to keep living, but I'm too coward for this!"

- "Wanting to see her living is not coward," Robin stated.

- "Yeah? Well, that's your point of view, but not mine! So now, let me die in my muck and leave my apartment!"

- "There is no way for me to go."

- "Then, I'll have to kick you out."

- "Don't even think about it!"

- "I do! I stink, I'm depressed, and I wanna be alone."

Constance grabbed Robin by her jacket, opened the door, lightly pushed her out, and slammed the door before locking it. Robin couldn't believe it. Constance was feeling worse than she thought. She knew she would have a similar reaction, but not that violent. She preferred not insisting. She furiously went downstairs when she saw a redhead entering the building.

- "If you want a piece of advice, don't visit her," Robin said.

- "I'm not here for her. Not really," Max answered.

- "Good luck."

Max nodded. The two girls separated, going in different ways. Max went upstairs and began to knock at the door.

- "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Constance yelled from the inside.

The redhead rolled her eyes before hammering the door without stopping. It easily got on the blonde teen's nerves who stood from her couch and quickly went to her door. When she opened it, she had to grab Max's wrist to not be punched in the face. Max brutally freed herself.

- "What are you doing here!?" Constance asked.

- "I wanted to take some stuff for Jane."

- "Why!? She doesn't care anyway!"

- "Yeah, well, I don't care of what you think anyway, so move."

Max wasn't in the mood to fight; she had a long day and was exhausted. Since Jane was unconscious, she wasn't sleeping well, when she was sleeping. Her nights were very long, always thinking about her girlfriend and worrying about a phone call from the hospital. She lightly pushed Constance and entered the place, going in direction of the bedroom. Constance followed her to keep an eye on her.

- "It's her birthday today, in case you care!" the redhead said.

- "I know."

- "It's been a month, and you didn't visit her even one time!" Max stated, taking the Teddy bear in her hands.

- "I had other things to do."

- "Bullshits. Fucking bullshits. You prefer hiding here than trying."

- "Trying what!?" Constance replied.

- "To live! Yes, Jane is unconscious, and it's unfair, and I really wanted to let myself go like you, but I didn't because Jane would have never tolerated such a thing!"

- "Who cares now!? She is fucking dying! Her constants deteriorated again! She is at the limit to not be able to have a new heart!"

- "I know! But there is still a chance! And I believe in that chance! We can't lose faith like that; we need to believe in her! She is fighting for her life right now, and we need to keep living ours to help her after all of this shit!" Max got angry.

The two girls angrily looked at each other. Both were out of energy and at their wits' end. Max shook her head of disbelief before continuing gathering Jane's stuff. Max didn't take lots of things, she especially wanted to warm the atmosphere in Jane's room. Even if the brunette was unconscious, she thought that maybe she could feel it. And it was more for herself as she was spending lots of time in this room too. She packed the stuff and began to leave the room.

- "You never gave up on her like that before, so why now?"

Constance just shrugged.

- "You know Joyce would be happy to help you with anything. If you prefer staying with us instead of staying here, Cat and you are welcomed."

- "I know."

- "And don't hesitate to take a shower. You smell like shit."

Constance had a weak amused sigh which made weakly smiled the redhead. Max left the apartment, feeling a pinch in her heart. She hoped Constance wouldn't do something stupid.