Problems of adults

Chapter 44 : Her seat

Max almost didn't sleep. The only moment she did was probably because she passed out of sadness and tiredness. She woke up before the alarm clock. She got out of her bed and got ready. She put her jeans and tee-shirt but chose to wear a sweatshirt that Jane used to wear. She smelt it before smiling. It was smelling like her. She put it on her, feeling a bit safe like that. It gave her some strength for the day. She prepared her bag before going to the kitchen. Joyce was already there, preparing the breakfast. She had a soft smile when she recognized the sweatshirt.

- "Hey. You don't seem to have slept a lot. Maybe you should spend the day here, what do you think?" Joyce said.

- "No, I prefer not. I, I need to clear my head."

- "As you want. Do you want something to drink?"

- "A hot chocolate, please?"

- "Sure, I prepare you that."

Max sat at the table and began to prepare toast with jam. She wasn't very hungry, but she was too weak to risk a day with no food inside her body. They were quickly joined by Will who seemed as tired as the two others.

- "You didn't sleep either?" Joyce asked.

- "No, I thought too much."

- "Yeah, us too. Do you want something to drink?"

- "Um yeah, like Max."

- "Sure. If you wanna stay here today, you know you can, okay?"

- "Okay, but I think I'm good enough to go to school."

The mother nodded before placing the two cups on the table. Will looked at Max and had a soft smile when he recognized Jane's sweatshirt. As Joyce was beginning early, she kissed the top of their heads and quickly left the place. Will and Max kept eating in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Will wanted to say something comforting, to give Max some hope, but he found nothing, and maybe Max had hope, and what he could say would ruin her last hope. He frowned, wondering why he was talking like if Jane was dead and buried. He was the one who needed hope, not Max!

- "She is not dead," Max said.

- "Oh, uh, what?" Will frowned.

- "You look very sad, but I don't want you to think she is dead. She will make it."

- "Yeah, you are right."

Will warmly smiled to her which made her smile too. The two teens finished their breakfasts, took their bags, and left the apartment to take their bus.

Once at school, they could feel all the eyes on them. Max could smell their pity by just walking next to them, and she hated that. Will and Max both went to the redhead's locker. Will's locker was farther, but he didn't want to let Max go alone to hers, as there was Jane usually with her. When Max slammed her locker, she had the bad surprise to see Abigail. The blonde teen had sorry eyes, but Max didn't care. She walked away, hitting her shoulder with hers on her way. Abigail didn't reply, knowing she deserved it. She looked at Will with the same eyes, but the boy didn't have the heart to be rude with her, Abigail really seemed worried for Jane.

- "She is not okay. Her body is fighting, but if she doesn't have a new heart soon...well, you know."

Abigail nodded.

- "Thank you," she said.

- "Yeah, um, no problem."

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder before continuing his way. Maybe Abigail wasn't as bad as she seemed to be, maybe she was changing. He hoped Alban could change too, but it seemed to be an impossible thing.

Max tried to avoid everyone. She didn't have the heart to listen to their sorry or to look at their sad eyes. All she wanted to do was finishing her day at school, nothing more, nothing less. She went directly to her classroom and sat at the back of the room, as usual. She took a book and began to read it, more to hide from the others than because she was interested. Beverly entered with Gabrielle, Clara, Mike, and Lucas. They all looked at her but understood she didn't want to talk. They sat at their seats like if everything was normal. But they all remained quiet, embarrassed by the situation. The bell was almost going to ring when a teen boy ran into class and began to go at the back of the class. Max frowned because he was going to sit next to her.

- "There is someone here," she sharply said.

- "Um, well, I thought, I thought she-"

- "It's her seat, why don't you sit at yours!?"

- "There is a pen friend at my seat__"

- "I don't give a fuck! There is someone on this seat! End of the conversation!"

- "Max, he won't sit on the floor," Bev intervened.

- "What!? That's it!? Jane is fucking dying in hospital right now, and you all want to replace her!? No fucking way! It's her seat, not his!" Max yelled, angrily standing.

The boy stepped back of fear while Beverly stood too. She went next to Max and placed her hands on her shoulders to be sure she wouldn't become more violent.

- "I'll sit next to you, okay?" Bev said. "Jane wouldn't mind if I sit here, right?"

Max, who was heavily breathing with her nose, began to calm down and realized that she maybe overreacted.

- "Yeah," she answered.

- "Great. Sit now."

Beverly gently forced Max to sit before turning to the boy to tell him to take her seat. When Bev sat next to Max, she grabbed her hand and squeezed it. At least she didn't punch anyone and didn't finish in the headmaster's office this time. Max rubbed her face. This amount of anger made her feel dizzy. Maybe she should have listened to Joyce and stayed at home, but she would have depressed all day long, and it was the last thing she needed.

At the end of the class, Max quickly stood and walked away without waiting for her friends. She was still upset about all of this and talking with them would make this worse. But Bev and Lucas still followed her, to be sure she was okay. On their way, they saw no one else than Alban who decided to provoke them:

- "Finally get rid of the dyke!"

- "SAY THAT AGAIN!" Max answered.

The redhead was going to punch him, but Lucas and Bev intervened and prevented her from doing a mistake she could regret, even if she would probably not regret hitting Alban's face. The blonde teen didn't wait for her to do more and began to run. Max kept struggling and managed to push her two friends away, once Alban out of sigh.

- "Why did you stop me!? You didn't hear what he said about Jane!? He had no right to talk about her like that!"

- "We heard, Max! But you can't punch him every time he says something stupid!" Lucas stated.

- "Why not!? Am I the only one who cares about her right now!? Is she already dead for you!?"

- "Don't say that!"

- "Why didn't you defend her then!?"

- "Max, calm down!" Bev tried.

- "NO! I won't calm down! I'm fucking tired of all their shit!"

As Max was beginning to make wide movements, Beverly grabbed her by her sweatshirt and blocked her against the lockers.

- "We love her too, okay!?" Bev firmly said. "We know it's hard for you, that's why we're trying to keep an eye on you. But it's hard for us too! She is our best friend! We are all worried; we are all scared for her! But we don't lose our shit to be sure you won't lose yours too, okay!? Alban has always been a dick, and he clearly won't stop, but it doesn't mean you have to get in trouble because of him, it won't help anyone, especially Jane. You're angry because Jane's situation is unfair, we all are angry about this. But, don't lose yourself, please."

Max found nothing to answer. Bev was right, they were all living the same situation as her. If there were people able to understand what she was feeling, it was them. She was feeling stupid for avoiding them, and she almost got violent one more time because she couldn't handle her own emotions. She was glad her friends were here for her, because she really needed support right now. As much as they needed her support.