Problems of adults

Chapter 49 : Revolver

Another month past. Robin had spent those four weeks with Constance, to be sure she was okay. Constance accepted to let her help her. She took care of herself, bought real food for herself, went back to work, and all those things. Constance didn't do it for Robin but for Jane. After the argument she had with Max, she thought a lot about her sister and what she would think about all of this. She didn't want her to be ashamed of her. The two girls were in Constance's kitchen. Robin prepared the meal for Constance, trying to make her smile.

- "So, what are we gonna do today?" Robin asked.

- "Nothing."

- "Why?"

- "I would prefer spending the day alone."

- "Const—"

- "You had been here for four weeks. We both need some time alone. And I'm feeling better, so there is nothing to worry about," Constance stated.

- "If you say so."

- "Yeah, I say so!"

- "You sound a bit angry."

- "Yeah, that's why I want to be alone! I need some time for myself too! Without you!"

- "Okay, okay. I let you alone today."

- "Thank you!"

It was in silent that the two girls ate. Robin didn't want to let Constance alone, but she knew the blonde girl wouldn't let her stay. And maybe it was time to trust her, she did lots of progress those last weeks. And they were beginning to not support each other's presence anymore.

- "You think you could take Cat with you?" Constance said.

- "Um, yes, of course. I love this fur bag," Robin smiled. "You don't want a little bit company with you?"

- "No, I prefer being alone, to not have to worry about him."

- "Okay, I understand."

Robin warmly smiled to her, but Constance was still emotionless. Maybe Constance was right, maybe she needed time to think about all of this alone, with a different state of mind. If it could help her, Robin would let her do.

After their meal, Robin packed her stuff and Cat's stuff before being ready to leave. Constance accompanied her downstairs and helped her to put all her bags in the car.

- "I see you soon, right?" Robin said.

- "Sure."

- "Love you."

- "Me too."

Robin kissed her girlfriend before going in the car and driving away. Constance waited for her girlfriend to be far before going back in her apartment. 

But once in there, she didn't collapse on her couch like she used to do. She went to her bedroom, put a long black coat on, and took a pack of bills she was hiding in her desk before leaving again the apartment. She was lucky, she didn't meet her neighbors. They would certainly ask her how she was and what she was going to do, and she didn't want to talk to them right now. She walked in the streets of Brooklyn, knowing what she wanted, but not knowing where to find it. She went to the less reputable districts and found her guy. It was the kind of guys that you wouldn't like seeing in the streets, but today, it was the guy she was looking for.

- "What do you want!?" he snapped.

- "A gun."

- "A gun!?" he chuckled. "What make you think I have a gun for you!?"

Constance frowned and pointed at his car next to him with the trunk opened, showing a bunch of guns.

- "Don't play smart ass with me."

- "Don't be a stupid ass then. I want a gun; I can pay for it. Now give me what I need."

- "What kind of guns do you need?"

- "Revolver."

The man nodded and went to his trunk. He searched inside before taking out a small revolver. He showed it to Constance and explained her how good his gun was, but she didn't care. She gave the bills for the revolver and one bullet and left this street. She began to go back in direction of her apartment, avoiding the streets she was usually taking, to be sure she wouldn't meet someone she knew. When she arrived at her building, she ran in the stairs and quickly entered her apartment before locking her door. 

The silence in the room was oppressive. Good, it would help her to see it through to the end. She sat on the couch, put the revolver on the table next to her mobile phone, and waited. She wanted to do it, but she was scared. What if she failed and her heart was unusable? And what if she didn't die and just managed to make the situation worse? What if she just became disabled and Jane died anyway? What if the neighbors didn't hear her in time and the emergency services arrived too late?

No, no, she was thinking too much. She had to do it, for Jane. And why not spicing up the thing? Playing Russian roulette was a famous game, why not trying it now? It was the best moment to try. She put the bullet inside the chamber and rolled the cylinder before making a movement with her hand to put back the cylinder in the revolver. 

She primed the hammer, placed the muzzle on her right temple, and took a deep breathing before pulling the trigger. She just heard a click and exhaled the air she was holding in her lungs. Her heart began to race, and she began to sweat of stress. Her hand was shaking, but she had to try again. She primed the hammer again, placed again the muzzle on her right temple, took again a deep breathing, and pulled again the trigger. It was a click again. She did it again, and again, and again. Now, it was the last chamber. The bullet was in there. She looked at the revolver with determination. She took deep breathings, primed the hammer, placed the muzzle on her temple, and was going to pull the trigger, when she saw a call on her mobile phone. 

It was the hospital. Her heart stopped. She put the hammer back, placed the gun on the table, took the phone, and picked it up:

- "Hello?"

She didn't say other words. She listened carefully to the lady on the other side of the phone. As the call progressed, Constance was paling and shaking. She dropped her mobile phone and screamed all the air she had in her lungs of anger and pain before bursting into tears.