Not My Congressman (ManxMan)

Chapter 29

Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts/actions, References to homophobia and substance abuse.

Finn gulped nervously as he moved towards the dimly lit bedroom. He'd seen this scene before, but he really hoped it wasn't the same. Instead of moaning and slapping of bodies together, he only heard the faintest sound of sniffling.

"Wy?" Finn called out, feeling a lump in the back of his throat as he stepped through the bedroom and towards the light source; the bathroom. "Wy, babe I-It's me. I wanted to talk... I-I'm sorry about earlier..." He said wearily as he approached the bathroom door.

"Wyatt! NO!" Finn screamed in utter shock, gasping in shock at the sight of the handsome blond man staring into the mirror with tearstained cheeks and a loaded gun in his hand pointed directly at his temple.

"Leave, Finn." Wyatt's voice cracked from the hours of crying; his eyes were so sad, so broken, so hopeless. "Leave. Now. You shouldn't see this."

"Wyatt..." Finn said breathily, his eyes pooling with tears as he approached the man slowly like a skittish animal in the wild. He was trying so hard to hold on to any sinew of calmness he could but he found it increasingly hard to do so. "Wyatt... Put. down. the. gun." He pleaded softly, hoping calmness would be best in this situation. "Please... Just put down the gun. Just give me the gun, please. Wyatt." His breath began to grow more and more labored as Wyatt's finger remained steadfast on the trigger

"This is for the best, Finn." Wyatt said softly, and it was clear he believed that. "I can't live like this... I can't make you live like this. I've hurt you. This is how it has to be..."

"No! It doesn't." Finn screamed, taking a deep breath to calm himself; he needed to be calm. Calmness was the only means to get through to Wyatt. "It doesn't have to be be like this. You don't hurt me, you make me feel loved. You make me feel wanted for me, not just my body! Please, Wyatt just put the GODDAMN GUN DOWN!" He screamed out in despair before closing his eyes and regaining his semblance. "I-I-I mean Wy. Babe. Please. Just... Give me the gun."

"You can do so much better than me, Snowflake..." Wyatt didn't even look at him directly; his eyes locked on his own. "You deserve someone who can openly love you."

"I don't want someone else! I want you! God! Wy Please just put down the gun! Please! Just..." Finn's welling eyes finally teemed over as the tears began to stream down his face. "Please..."

"I can't. DO. THIS ANYMORE!" Wyatt screamed out, his voice breaking just like his heart; Finn felt that cut deep in his chest, he felt that pain that he never experienced. That was love, feeling emotions the other person did even though you yourself may never have experienced it.

"If you shoot yourself, I'll shoot myself." Finn countered sharply, hoping this last ditch effort would get through to him. He watched with a slight sense of relief as Wyatt's eyes shot towards him for the first time; they looked so broken, eyes bloodshot and empty... devoid of hope...

"You won't Finny. Promise me you won't!" Wyatt muttered angrily, the gun barrel still against own temple. "You have so much to live for, I don't!"

"If you do it... You won't be here to stop me..." Finn's voice cracked as he felt his life hanging on the balance; a part of him was saying it to make Wyatt put down the gun, but a part of him knew that Wyatt had become his everything; his day, his night, his happiness, his soul. "I love you, Wyatt! I've never loved anyone and I don't think I'll ever be able to again! I've loved you since we were kids and-and-and... Just please put the fucking gun down, Wyatt! I'd rather love you in secret for the rest of my life than love someone else out in the open. I don't care if I have to be your dirty little secret for as long as I live, just as long as I have you!"