You Can Trust in Me (Man of Medan Fanfiction: Conrad X Female Reader)

Chapter Eleven: The Radio

Relationships:

Alex- 2/10

Brad- 8/10

Conrad- 10/10

Fliss- 10/10

Julia- 3/10

Y/N's POV

I walk with Conrad to follow the others, pausing and pulling away from his grasp to take a look at a shell casing a little ways away. "Huh. You think these guns could have been the ones to take down the plane from the dive?" I look back at Conrad, holding up the casing for him to see.

He shrugs, only looking at the shell casing for a moment before he gets a faraway look in his eyes. "Not sure." He then proceeds to walk off without me.

I raise an eyebrow at his retreating form, wondering what's gotten into him. I set the casing back where I found it and continue on, pausing again to look at a boat riddled with bullet holes. I scoff, joking to no one in particular, "Anyone in the mood for some Swiss cheese? Because this is useless for anything else but that."

Predictably, no one responds.

I sigh, backing away from the mangled boat. "Tough crowd." I keep walking, noticing Fliss leaning on one of the various large, decaying items scattered on this area of the boat. "Have you found any way we can get up?" I ask as I approach her.

She shakes her head. "Sadly, no, but... I'll keep my eyes open."

That's when I notice Conrad standing by himself out of the corner of my eye. When I turn my attention over to him, I see he's looking out at the sea from the boat's railing.

I walk over to him, gingerly putting a hand on his shoulder from behind. "Are you okay?"

Conrad shakes his head quickly as if to snap himself out of something, looking back at me and finally registering my presence. "Oh, Y/N. Yeah. I'm fine."

I raise an eyebrow, joining him at the railing. "I feel like you're lying."

He sighs, looking back over the water. "I just need to get out of here. This place... it's really messing with me. And I... I just feel so awful. I feel so awful knowing that we're all here because of something I did."

I place my hand atop his on the railing. "Connie, we don't know that for sure. They might have boarded the Duke to rob us regardless. Then they could have found the information on the Manchurian Gold and made us board this boat anyways."

Conrad shakes his head sadly. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, Y/N, but that's not true. They only decided to board the Duke because I made them angry by flaunting my money. I basically told them, 'Hey, guys! I have lots of money for you to steal!' That's why they boarded in the first place. It was my money fiasco. It's all my fault."

I sigh in exasperation, not knowing what to say or do to make him feel better. "Not all of this is your fault. You can't blame yourself for the actions of three crazy fishermen. It wasn't your idea to board an ominous ship to search for gold. Sure, your actions might have indirectly led to this, but the actions of the fishermen have directly led to this. You might partly be to blame, but the blame falls mostly on those madmen. They made this happen on purpose through their hunger for wealth. They chose to bring us here. Not you. You can't beat yourself up about this. You need to forgive yourself and just try to be better in the future. Please, don't blame yourself for all this."  

Conrad gives a slow nod, considering my words. "Yeah. Okay. I'll try. Thanks, Y/N."

I give him a small smile, kissing him on the cheek. "Of course." I hear a creaking noise from somewhere to my right, turning away from Conrad to see Alex pulling open a door to a rusted cabinet.