The New Kid: a Noah Beck Fanfiction *completed*

22

The bell rang, and I felt a pit deep in my stomach. I hadn't seen Noah since I left his house the day before, and I was worried about how I was going to be able to keep it together. Jaden and Mads walked ahead of me, and I kept my eyes on the floor as I followed them. We sat down at the lunch table, and I avoided eye contact with the others. I assumed that Jaden, Mads, and Blake had already taken it upon themselves to fill everyone in on my shitty attitude, so no one bothered to ask me any questions.
Addison and Bryce sat on one side of me, leaving the only empty seat to my right. As Noah settled into it, I took a deep breath. I didn't really think that this would've happened to me today, but I could only be so lucky.

"Hey, guys," Noah said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Why is no one talking?"
I didn't have to look up to imagine the looks on everyone's faces. There was no way that anyone was able to hide whatever emotions they were feeling.
"Um, are we just pretending that this weekend didn't happen?" Bryce asked.
I looked up to see Addison elbow him. "You cannot just say things like that, Bryce."
"Why not?" I asked, talking for the first time since I had sat down. "Bryce has a point. We're all avoiding the elephant in the room."
Griffin looked at me from across the table before whispering to me. "That's enough, Gracie."
"Why?" I asked, raising my voice slightly. "Why can't we talk about it? You know, in this friend group, no one really talks about anything. When things bother us, we just pretend that they aren't happening. How come?"
"Gracie, calm down," Addison said, rubbing my arm.
I pulled away from her. "No. I don't want to calm down. I want to be allowed to have emotions. I want to be allowed to talk about the things that are bothering me. Is that really so much to ask for?"

For the first time since I had started my rant, Noah spoke. "What happened to 'I brought this on myself,' Grace? Do you want to play the victim now? Be my guest, but I won't pretend that I did anything wrong to make you feel better about what you did. I just won't."
I could feel the entire table watching us. "Noah, I said that I fucked up. I tried so hard to apologize to you, to make it better, but you didn't want any part of that. That hurt me, and I won't apologize for that. I'm sorry that you think that that is me trying to place the blame on you, but that's hardly what this is." I stood up, leaving the table. I wasn't going to give them a show.

I went to calculus early, and I sat in our seats in the back of the room. Our seats were assigned, and Noah and I had chosen to sit next to each other on the first day. The last thing that I wanted to do right now was sit next to him, but there wasn't anything that I could do about it.
The bell rang, and Noah walked in. I could see the disappointment cross his face. I don't think that either one of us had considered this aspect.
He didn't speak as he sat down. It hurt me more than I would ever be willing to admit, but I couldn't keep dwelling on it.

Calculus went by quickly, but the silence was eternal. For the first time since the first day of school, Noah and I didn't walk together to Spanish. When I walked in, Señora Garcia looked at me strangely. "¿Dónde está Noah?" Where is Noah? Yikes.
I could feel my face flush. I guess I should just tell her that we aren't talking right now. "No estamos hablando ahora."
Noah walked in behind me and headed straight to our seats. "Ah, yo entiendo," she said, nodding in understanding.
I walked back to our seats, and Noah shifted uncomfortably in his own. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable. If I could leave, I would. Unfortunately for both of us, we're both stuck here for the rest of the semester. We can make the best of it, or we can be dicks to each other. Your call."

Class started, and Noah didn't make a move to speak. As she told us to start our partner work, he looked at his own worksheet, filling it out on his own. I chuckled softly to myself, working on my own paper as well. The tension between us was thick, and I didn't bother trying to ease it.
As we sat in silence, I counted the minutes until I could leave the classroom.
The bell rang, and I shot out of my seat, practically running down the hallway to econ.

"Hey, slow down," Nessa said, trying to catch up to me in the hallway. "What are you running from?"
"My problems, usually, but this time, I'm running from Noah," I answered, slowing my pace. "How are you? Sorry that we didn't get to catch up at lunch."
She shook her head. "It's alright. I'm doing okay. The real question is if you are doing okay."
"I'm fine. I think that I need to just readjust my life, so it doesn't revolve around Noah anymore. I'll figure it out somehow," I answered as we walked into Mr. Miller's classroom. He was handing out an assignment as we walked in.
"Movie guide? Thank God," Nessa whispered as we sat down. "I really don't feel like listening to him lecture again today."

I could hear everything that she was saying, but my brain wasn't processing it. I think that after the past two days, I was kind of just numb to it all. The class flew by, and I went to practice, changing quickly. I tried to get my head into practice, but I was all over the place. I hadn't been like that when Ryland and I had broken up, so why was I so broken up about a boy that I was never really with?