His sadness

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JANESSA POV

During my lunchtime, I searched for rental rooms and found one which is quite far, but I guess I can take the bus to come to the office. After work, I straightaway went to that place to look around the room. Everything was ok. Single room but quite expensive. I told the house owner to give an answer by tonight before leaving that place. Cris was at the main gate walking back and forth when I reached the house.

''Hey, you are here?'', I greeted him.

''Where the fucking hell you went?'', he asked me angrily.

''h....huh.... what happened?'', I was puzzled. In the morning, I took an Uber car since I don't want to trouble him.

''What you think about yourself uh? Do I look like your servant? You leave as you wish and make me waited for too long damn it!'', he questioned me.

''What? You waited for me?'', I was shocked. ''s....orry... I....''

''you know what?'', he cuts me. ''I'm not fucking care about you anymore. Just do whatever hell you want!'', saying that he left the house with his superbike.

I sighed. Guilt surrounded me. How can I know he was waiting for me? And I don't even have his phone number. Maybe it was my fault. I should have informed him.

''So you guys had a fight again?'', Marlene chuckles when I told the incident that happened in the evening. Soon after she back home, I couldn't help but tell the whole story.

''Jeez... what's so funny in it?'', I shook my head.

For three days, Cris doesn't show his face to me. I don't know where he went but Marlene told me that he back home late and leave early.

Someone kept knocking on my door which makes me awake after past midnight.

Who the hell is that?

Soon after I open the door, someone hugged me straightaway which woke me up fully. Realizing Cris who is sobbing, I was shocked and worried.

''w...what happened?'', I ask him.

''s...she... I.... couldn't able....'', his voice was croaked.

''Cris'', I rub his shoulder slowly. ''Are you OK? Did something happened?'', I ask him softly seeing his devastated expression. Leaning back, he saw me with his red, swollen eyes.

''the mother dog.... She died....'', he said as his tears flowing out from his eyes.

''Oh my God... what happened?'', I ask him shockingly.

''I saw her crossing the road and...'', he didn't continue. ''it was my fault. I was late bringing food for her and she went to search for food on her own and that's why... it was my fault'', tears streaming down from his eyes non-stop.

''Hey it's ok...'', I hugged him while rubbing his back softly.

He cried in my arms for some time. Honestly, I feel sad for that dog but seeing Cris's reaction, I'm worried about him more.

''can we... bury him?'', he asked me hesitantly.

''Yes sure... come let me help'', I replied.

Both of us dig a grave for that dog at the back of his house. Cris then put that dog with care in the grave.

''Sorry for coming late'', Cris looked down.

Holding his hand, I give some strength to him. He turns to see me. ''it's ok Cris... sometimes, we can't control everything in our life. She's up there and must be thankful to you for giving food for her'', I told him.

He nodded heavy heartedly. Now I know. He always went to give food for that dog and her puppies.

''you ok?'', I asked when we entered our house. He nodded.

While working, I can't myself from thinking about Cris. Marlene called me in the afternoon and told me that Cris doesn't come out of his room and didn't eat anything. I guess that dog's death gave a big impact on him. I'm a dog lover. Of course, I feel sad for that dog, but I could overcome it. I don't want to cry in front of him and make him sadder.

Today, I supposed to go back to my hometown since tomorrow is a public holiday. With Cris's condition, I couldn't have the heart to leave him.

After going back home, I walked to Cris's room. He didn't switch off the light but lying on his bed; facing the wall, turning his back to me.

''Can you leave me alone Mar?'', Cris sounded frustrated.

''Cris'', I called him as I switch on the light.

''I want to be alone'', he stated.

I walked towards his side and sat at the side of his bed. He doesn't look at me but the wall before him. Raising my hand, I caress his hair. His sight turned towards me.

''you OK?'', he didn't say anything. ''come'', I tap my lap as he looked puzzled at first. ''Sleep on me'', at first, he looks hesitant, but I grab his arm and pull me to my side as he laid his head on my lap.

''When you lose something precious to you, it feels like something tear our heart apart

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''When you lose something precious to you, it feels like something tear our heart apart. But you know what... it's ok to cry. It's ok to feel sad. Because that's how we pour out our pain that we store inside our hearts. Life doesn't stop here Cris... we got a long long way to go'', I smile lightly.

''You didn't go back home?'', he asked me after maintaining his silence for some time.

''How can I leave you alone here? During this time, it's better if someone stays by our side rather than being alone right?''

Raising his hand, he tucks my hair behind my ear. ''thank you'', he said sincerely, and I smile while nodded at his words.

He slept off shortly. When I put him back to his pillow, I realized that his body was burning. He's having a fever. Marlene and I cooked chicken porridgeCris.

''thank you, Jane. I need to go now... please take care of him for me'', she requested.

''don't worry... you have my words'', I replied.

After Marlene left the house, I walked to Cris's room; bringing the porridge.

''Cris, wake up'', I shook his body. Opening his eyes, he looked at me weakly. ''come, eat first'', he shook his head; saying no. '' don't say that...'', I help him lifting his body.

''I don't have appetite'', he said weakly.

''Then let me feed you... what I said once. The food will be delicious if someone feeds us'', I winked.

Thankfully, when I feed him spoon by spoon, he ate it. After that, I gave him medicines and slept back. I stayed by his side since I need to change the washcloth on his forehead. 

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