Love's Deception

Chapter 34 - Back To Normal

Sometimes getting back into a normal routine can feel nice. If all you've had is a hectic and crazy few days, months, or years, then getting back into that routine that you recognize is great.

But sometimes, you begin to miss the craziness. Maybe you never wanted to go back to normal, maybe you did. Or maybe you thought you did but then you realized that the craziness is much better than the normal ever was or can be. What do you do then?

Do you embrace your normal, or do you leave to go back to the craziness? What if the craziness isn't even available to go back to. You'll miss it for sure, but take this opportunity to turn your normal into craziness. Turn it into a normal that you want. It's going to be hard, especially if some aspect of the craziness you miss can't be reached. But sometimes, if you reach hard enough, you can do it.

****

It's been a week since Natalia Locke was arrested, and everything has gone to shit. I took my three days off that Billings gave me and spent them all with my mom in the hospital. Then, when I returned, I was suspended for five days without pay. So, I have gone through all my days where I was gone from the FBI and today is my first day back.

Those five days where I was suspended I stayed with my mom as well, and when I wasn't with my mom, I was crying. I was crying in my apartment with the lights off, trying and trying to call Jace. But there was never an answer. Each time, no answer. I can't stand this, I can't stand this silence from him. It's slowly killing me.

Paige came over a few times after work and sat with me while I cried, and Cam got me out of my apartment to go on walks. But I was a complete mess, a 100% mess like I've never been before. I love Jace, and now he's not mine.

But today is my first day back, and I'm not letting anything get in the way of that. This is my work, everything I've worked towards. When I'm on the clock, I'm working, but when I get home I can sulk all I want. I just need to put on a mask for work.

****

I enter the field office this morning and walk to my normal wing of the field office. Cam and I have returned to work under Director Scott again, while Paige is under Billings' supervision.

Cam and I are back at our normal desks, getting situated there. Well, I am, since Cam has been here for a few days. I sit down at my desk and set my coffee traveler mug down and place my purse under the desk.

"Good morning," I say to Cam.

"It's good to have you back."

"It's great to be back. I feel so well-rested and in such a better mental state," I sigh.

Cam squints at me, "You know I just saw you yesterday in your sweats, hair all messy and crying your eyes out."

"Well, I'm in a better mental state now!"

Cam laughs and then looks away from me. I get onto my computer and log in to my email to review everything I've missed these past few days. As I go through my inbox, I spot an email from a lawyer. Natalia's lawyer. I read it and scoff.

"What's wrong?" Cam asks walking behind me to look at my computer.

"Natalia and her lawyer aren't cooperating. They keep trying to push back the trial date, claiming that we don't have enough information and evidence."

"That's bullshit," Cam says, "We have her confession on tape and we have a witness."

"The lawyer is trying to get it passed as a forced confession, which it clearly is not."

"We're just going to have to try our hardest to make sure no evidence gets thrown away and her confession stays within the case file."

I agree and at that moment, Director Scott walks out of his office. I haven't seen him in seven months, but he looks just the same he always does. He scans the office and his eyes land on me.