Love's Deception

Chapter 31 - The Hospital

Do you ever have those days where you just feel completely hopeless? Where everything is falling apart and you just can't deal with it anymore. You're struggling through life and it seems as if you can't do anything right. I feel like that sometimes.

It's tough to feel like that when you know you have a job to do, and if you don't do it you let so many people down. So you try and get through the day, you try and get through it with a brave face. No matter how many bricks get thrown at you that day you let them hit you, even though you so badly want to crack.

And then sometimes, you can't handle the bricks anymore. You can't handle the impact they have on you. So you crack, you break like a piece of glass and shatter onto the floor. What do you do then? Do you try and fix yourself? Or do you continue to go about the day just wondering how many more times you can break before being completely destroyed?

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After a long and restless night, I wake up in bed. I had a strange dream. A weird one that makes me wonder what it means. Is it something I have to do? Something that's going to happen? I'm not sure. All the dream left me with was this anxious feeling, like something is going to happen today. I feel this dark cloud over me and it's like it's going to rain any minute.

I don't know what any of this means, so I just try my best to shrug it off and get on with my day, because today is a big day. I try not to think about it exactly, it only stressed me out. My work has always been stressful, but nothing has ever stressed me out like this.

I get out of bed, get changed into my FBI clothes, apply some light makeup and I grab some coffee and put it in my travel mug. Then I head off to work at my usual time: 6 AM. I head to my car and begin to drive to the FBI building where I meet Paige outside getting out of someone's car. She walks to the driver's side and they roll down the window so they can kiss.

When she breaks away from her kiss, she spots me looking at her. I walk to the driver's side of the car and look in to find Jax in the driver's seat.

I smirk at an embarrassed looking Paige, "This is cute."

"Hi, Ivy," Jax laughs, "How are you doing?"

I take a deep breath, "I'm doing okay, just trying to get through everything and not fail this."

"You guys are going to do great, and Ivy, you're in my thoughts."

Paige says goodbye to Jax and we watch as Jax drives away before heading into the building. Cam and Billings are already there along with Cal. He's been coming in every day to work with us on things. Each day he has had more information about the Cobras. I'm glad we've added him to our little team, he's very helpful to us.

Billings welcomes us and we all head into the conference room for our daily briefing. Billings sits at the end of the table while the rest of us sit on the sides across from each other.

"Any new information?" Billings asks Cal.

"The leader had been silent, no word at all."

"It's been two days since we got those bank statements and figured out who this idiot is, we don't know what they're doing now."

Billings sighs, "We're just going to have to go off it. We have no other way to find anything else out."

"Are we still doing this today?" Cam asks.

Billings nods, "It's the only day we can. Plus, it's the soonest."

I look down in my lap and don't say anything. Everything ends today. Today is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. Do I want anything to end? No. Do I want something new to begin? No, and yes. I don't know. I'm too conflicted right now but I have to hold it together at work.