~Flowers~ (omasai/saioma)

Chapter 14

    TW!! MENTIONS OF SELF HARM DURING THIS PART!!!!! 

*kokichi pov*

     "Oh really?"  I was in denial, I'm pretty sure he was just trying to make me feel better.  

"Mhm!"  He smiled as I turned to him.  His smile is cute.

"How do I know you're not lying?" I asked, he tilted his head.

"You don't know.  But you have to trust me."  He said

I walked closer to him.

Flowers and blood filled my throat.  Fuck.

I smiled awkwardly, and got a bit flustered.

"I gotta go."  I said and walked away.  

Once again when I was out of sight I ran down the halls and into my room.  I locked the door behind me.  I couldn't breathe, my lungs were filling up so fast.  I rushed into the bathroom and let all the blood and flowers tumble out into the sink.  

I coughed up a few stems too.  This was a very painful disease.  I hated it.  But maybe I was meant to die this way.  Maybe I was meant to die alone.  Maybe I have no purpose in life.  I can't do this anymore.  

/TW SELF HARM MENTIONS START HERE!!/ I stepped out of the bathroom and walked over to the dresser.  I pulled out one of the drawers and picked up the blade.  I rolled up my sleeves and held the blade to my skin.  I cut.  I cut over, and over, and over, again.  My arms had blood all over them.  It felt good.  I went back into the bathroom to clean myself up.  

Once I washed off all the blood, I wrapped my arms in bandages that I stole from the kitchen the other day.  Maybe this time, flowers won't bloom over the cuts.  /TW ENDS HERE/

I was in so much pain.  This stupid disease is gonna take my life any day now.  I'm just waiting.  No one is going to miss me.  Even Shuichi said it.  I'm alone, and I always will be.  I wonder what would happen if I told Shuichi how I feel.  Maybe I'll do it tomorrow, since I have very few days left.  I hopped onto my bed and covered up with blankets.  It was colder than usual.  After a few moments I drifted off to sleep.

*time skip*

     "Shuichi!!~"  I yelled to him across the cafeteria.  It was breakfast time, I was in a lot of pain.  But I didn't show it.

Shuichi groaned, I think he was upset with me.  But why?  Oh well.  I walked quickly to him and took a seat.

"Did you sleep well, Shumai?~"  I asked him, he got a bit flustered by the nickname.  Shuichi is just a soft uwu boy who blushes over any nickname anyone ever gives him.

It was hard to breathe.  All I felt was pain.

"I- Uh-  I slept fine, thank you."  He responded,

"Me too!"  I said, "Oh by the way!"  I added,

"Hm?"

"Who told you I'm gay?"  I laughed, he looked around.  And whispered it to me after I calmed down.

"Miu."

"Ohmigod! That slutty bastard!"  I shouted.  I stood up to go find Miu.  "I'll see you later Shumai!"  I said before walking away.

Miu wasn't in the cafeteria, because I didn't see her there.  I doubt she was in the kitchen either.  I passed by the library and heard soft crying from inside.  I let my curiosity get the best of me and I opened the door.

It was Miu, she was sitting on the floor, balling her eyes out.  I felt kind of bad.

"Hey."  I said, she gasped and turned to look at me.

"Go away!"  She yelled, turned back around.

"Ok."  I said, turning to leave.  I didn't care about Miu, she told Shuichi, and possibly more people, that I'm gay!  She also only cares about herself.  It's none of my business to go and comfort her.  So I left.

I ran through the halls, yelling and screaming like a child.  

Even though I appeared happy and cheerful, I was in pain.  All I could feel was pain.  

I want to go and tell Shuichi before it's too late.  He was probably still in the cafeteria.  I sprinted into the cafeteria and saw Shuichi.  But he was with Tenko and Kiibo.  Dammit, I wanted him alone.  Tenko and Kiibo made eye contact with me.

I gestured for them to go, I think Tenko got the hint.  She made up some dumbass excuse and dragged Kiibo away.  

I walked up behind Shuichi and took the seat next to him.  I think he got a little startled, but it's ok.

"Uhm.. Shuichi?"

"Yeah?"

There was a few seconds of silence while I built up my courage.

"I love you."

Word count: 750

Hi hi!  I think next chapter will the last chapter!  I'm so glad this book will finally be over lmao- I've been stressing out about this way too much.  I am going to be writing a sequel to this book, I just don't know when I will start on that.  Thank you for reading, bye bye! <3