Soul Of An Airplane- COMPLETED (PUBLISHED Under GSM)

Kabanata 24

Kabanata 24

Mistakes

Hindi ko na alam kung pang ilang buntonghininga ko na ito. Kanina pa ako nakatayo dito sa labas ng private room ni Santi pero hindi ko magawang pumasok. Naka-alis na rin kanina pa sina Alessia pati na rin sina Talia. Ako na lang talaga ang naiwan.

I blew a loud breath once more bago ko dahan-dahang hinawakan at pinihit ang door knob. I sighed again in relief nang makitang mahimbing ang pagkakatulog ni Santi. I donʼt know yet kung ano ang sasabihin ko kung gising ito.

I know I need to say my thanks to him for saving my life last week. Lagi akong binagabag ng pangyayaring iyon. My conscience eats me up every time I tried to close my eyes, but suddenly it appears out of nowhere. What ifʼs are running inside my head.

What if may nangyaring mas malala bukod sa pagkakabaril nito. Magiging pasan ‘yon ng konsensiya ko. At hinding-hindi ko mapapatawad sarili ko. I will surely blame myself for it.

I hold Santi’s hand slowly. Ingat na ingat para hindi magising si Santi.

“You have no idea how you scared me when Avionna called me at sinabing nag-aagaw buhay ka,” mahinang usal ko.

“You don’t know how it hurts me na wala akong magawa sa mga oras na ‘yon…” I murmured. “Tinakot mo ako, Santi, alam mo ba ‘yon?” I added at pinalis ang luhang pumatak sa pisngi ko.

“Sobra-sobra ang takot ko…”

I tightened my gripped on Santi’s hand at nagbuga ng hangin. Sobrang bigat ng dibdib ko.

“H-Hey…”

Dahan-dahan akong nag-angat ng tingin mula sa pagkakayuko dahil sa mahinang boses ni Santi. I saw him smile at me weakly, na parang nagdurog ng puso ko.

“Donʼt move,” agad na saway ko dahil sa akma nitong pagbangon.

“Oh d*mn!” Santi groaned and close his eyes but the weak smile in his lips remained.

Agad akong tumayo para tulungan itong humilig sa headrest ng hospital bed.

“You are not allowed to move recklessly, Captain,” pangaral ko dito. He’s d*mn hard headed, really.

“Y-You really visit me,” mahinang usal ni Santi na parang hindi ito makapaniwalang bumisita nga ako.

I visited him not just this time, pero dahil comatose ito ng isang linggo kaya hindi nito alam na bumibisita ako.

“I miss you,” dagdag nito.

Bahagya akong umayos ng tayo matapos makahilig ng maayos si Santi at nag-iwas ng tingin.

I cleared the lump in my throat. Hindi agad nakapagsalita at bumuntonghininga na lang ulit.

Iʼm torn between saying ‘I miss him too or just shut my mouthʼ.

 I miss him too, I know. But I don’t know how to say that to him without feeling embarrass.

“Are you hungry?”

Santi sighed because of my question bago ito mahinang tumawa. I turned my back to prepare some food and to hide my feelings. Iʼm d*mn scared to show my real feelings to anyone.

Tahimik lang ako habang kumakain si Santi.  Maraming tumatakbo sa isipan ko. In my job’s nature, mahirap ang pumasok sa isang relasyon. Nakakatakot. Lalo na at magkaiba kami ng mundong ginagalawan. I don’t want to experience the same mistakes my parents had.

Their relationship traumatized me. It scares me to fall in love.

“Lieutenant…”

Nagbalik ako sa huwisyo dahil sa mahinang usal ni Santi. Nang tingnan ko ito ay namumungay ang mga mata nitong nakatitig sa akin. His eyes seems so gentle.

Why he looks so broken?

“Hmm…?” I mumbled.

“I like you…” I stared at Santi. He then smiled bitterly. “No… I think I already fall in love with you,” he sighed after he murmured something.

I was stunned. I didn’t expect that he will straightly confess right now, right here.

“Uh…” I awkwardly uttered.

The silence between us prolonged and no one dared  to talk. I  looked away because I donʼt really know what to say.

Nanatili kaming tahimik ni Santi hanggang sa dumating si Alessia at Aviona. May bitbit ang mga ito na prutas at ibang pagkain.

I bit my lower lip when I realized that I donʼt even brought food for Santi when I came here. Hindi man lang iyon pumasok sa isip ko. Ang tanging iniisip ko lang ay sa wakas mabibisita ko na naman siya. Ngayon ko lang iyon naalala nang makita ko kung paano paghandaan ni Alessia ang pagbisita rito.

Nagpaalam na rin ako ilang sandali nang dumating sina Alessia. I feel like I was never been invited and even exist in here. I’m not welcome here.

Pagdating sa parking lot ng hospital ay agad kong pinatunog ang jeep na pinapagamit ng airline sa amin.

I was about to enter the car when I heard Alessiaʼs voice behind me.

“Lieutenant…”

I sigh and closed the car’s door back and faced Alessia. Seryoso ang mukha nitong pinasadahan ako ng tingin dahilan para umangat ang kaliwang kilay ko.

“Yes?”

Alessia roamed her eyes around tsaka ito huminga ng malalim at tumingin ulit sa akin.

“I heard what Santi told you earlier.”

I frowned my forehead a bit dahil sa sinabi ni Alessia pero hindi naman ako umimik. Parang alam ko na ang patutunguhan ng usapang ito.

“I know that he said he likes you. But Lieutenant, he confessed to me his feelings first. Sinabi ko lang ‘to sa ‘yo dahil ayaw kong gawin ka niyang panakip butas dahil tinanggihan ko siya. I want to finish this mission first bago ko siya sagutin.”

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o maiinsulto dahil sa narinig mula kay Alessia. Is she saying that I shouldn’t expect anything from Santi because he confessed to her first?

“Distance yourself to Santi, Lieutenant. He likes me and that’s it. I know that your mother chose other man over you and your father. I don’t want you to middle what’s between us. Don’t repeat the same mistake your mother did, Lieutenant.”

Agad uminit ang ulo ko dahil sa narinig mula kay Alessia.

Kung kanina ay ‘di ko pa malalaman kung maiinsulto ba ako o hindi, ngayon alam ko na. She mentioned my mother’s cheating thingy in front of me just because Santi confessed to me.

And how the hell did she knew about my family!?

“Kung ano man ang meron sa inyo ni Captain Sullivan, Cadet Del Rosario, ay wala akong pakialam. ‘Wag mong sinasali sa usapan ang pamilya ko.” I gritted my teeth.

Hindi ko alam na masakit pala na ‘pag mismong sa ibang tao mo maririnig ang ginawa ng magulang mo. It sounded like an insult to you.

“I don’t know where you heard that sh*t but don’t involve my family to this.”

I can feel my raging anger in my heart dahil sa pang-iinsulto nito sa pamilya.

“I was just warning you, Lieutenant. Kasi hindi maganda pakinggan kung uulitin mo ang pagkakamaling ginawa ng mommy mo. They both have a family, yet, they chose to ruin it.” Alessia glared and smirked at me.

“Donʼt teach me what to do, Cadet Del Rosario! I know what is right and what is wrong!” Hindi ko na napigilang ‘wag magtaas ng boses dahil sa inis ko. The people nearby stared on us pero binalewala ko ang mga iyon.

“Then distance yourself to Santi, Lieutenant. This is for your own good too,” giit ni Alessia.

I smirked, naiinsulto sa mga pahayag nito.

“Why not tell me straight to the point, Cadet Del Rosario? Ang dami mong pasikot-sikot, e, isa lang naman ang gusto mo. Iʼll distance myself to Captain Sullivan because you were threatened that I might stole him from you. Itʼs so kind of you sounded so concern towards my reputation when in fact you’re just threatened. Donʼt baby me too much, Love,” I sarcastically said bago iniwang walang imik si Alessia.