Play the game // l.r.h

Chapter 37 - The truth

When we got back the first thing we did was open up the laptop and go through every single file that was on there. Sure enough we found the pictures on there too, we deleted them. Along with erasing all the data from the memory sticks, her camera and snapping every burnable disk.

I did the snapping of the disks. I was feeling very destructive and everyone knew it, so when it came to getting rid of the evidence, Michael just handed me the stack of CD’s and told me to ‘go nuts’.

I did.

When I was finished, the room was covered in snapped bits of CD. It was 2 in the morning and we were just in silence, deleting and snapping and erasing and tearing up more of the photos we found in more of her files.

That girl really went to town on this.

I had to stop and take deep breaths every now and again to calm myself down. This wasn’t like me. I’d never been this angry before but I felt so betrayed, so heartbroken. I didn’t want to do anything other than snap CD’s. But eventually I ran out of those. And I was just left to simmer.

“What happened in there?” Michael asked me. Everyone looked at him, and then me, anxiously waiting for my response.

“He was in her bed” I dead panned, snapping an already-snapped CD piece.
“We know that. And we know you’re angry. But something else must’ve happened. When you stayed back to get the files maybe? You were in there for an awfully long time.”

I knew what he was talking about. And I wanted to tell them so badly. That was when I snapped like the CD’s. I couldn’t keep this bottled up any longer. So I just blurted out everything to them. How I felt betrayed and everything I’d heard him say to Emily and how I had just sat on her bathroom floor crying while I heard them go back into her bedroom.

But I didn’t stop there. I told them about how before we even went to LA for the first time, there was something between Luke and I. there was something that was telling me that he liked me and that I liked him back. There was something about him that made me not want him to leave. Something that made me want to go with him. Yet we’d never done anything that suggested we liked each other.

But once I’d started. I couldn’t stop. I told them about how he had stopped for me when the police officer got out of his car after they’d all run away. How he was there for me when he picked me up and ran back to the house. I told them about how I felt when I found out about Emily and I told them about how I thought this time would be different. How I thought I could save us both when in reality he was on her side all along.

I told them about the way he made me feel when we were together. About the butterflies in my stomach and the songs in my head. The happiness it brought me when he smiled and the way he always knew how to make me laugh.

But all of that was gone now and there was a gap in myself. A hole that was once filled with butterflies and happy music, filled with his smile and his laugh, filled with the way we could tell what each other were thinking with a second of eye contact. It was filled with my love and adoration for him.

It was.

The hole was now filling itself with hatred and anger and fear of what was to come. Fear of the unknown, of what would happen next and of who I was.

I told them about the day I had sat on the floor in my apartment and stared down at the dress Sam had given me and cried because I wasn’t anybody. I was a nobody who had nothing. And I hated it.

I was talking for so long and crying the whole time. I lay in Lori’s arms as I told everybody and they all sat and listened.

Nobody ever listens.

They hear. But they don’t listen.

But this time, they were listening. And this time, they understood.

**************

A/N - This was such a sad chapter to write so i'm sorry

I love you

Vote and comment please (this fanfic has about 5 chapters left and i think that they're pretty long and stuff gets serious so BE READY.)

peace

-angrysos