A Long Way Down| Draco X Reader

Chapter 17: The Unresponsive (Draco POV)

I looked at the pile of opened letters on my desk, I just stared at them with a blank sheet of parchment sitting in front of me. My hand wouldn't move, for some reason I couldn't find anything to say. Why couldn't I just respond to her? What was so hard about sparing even a few words to let her know about my summer. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to respond, but I can never find the right words. 

My normally clean room was now scattered with crumpled up pieces of parchment from each time I tried to come up with a response. Nothing sounded right.

Dear Y/N, 
My summer has been less than satisfying. How has yours been?-

No that's not good...

They all started the same but with the more letters that she sent the more anxious I became. I hadn't been able to respond but now she's surely pissed with me so I don't think I could just send a letter like that without saying anything more. She deserved an explanation but I don't know why I can't write. I don't know why I get nervous at the thought of her reading a letter I've sent and thinking it's rubbish. I didn't care about it before. So why was it different? She was kind in all her letters to me, until the very last one but even then it wasn't terribly rude. She deserved to be angry with me - I promised her that I would write yet summer's almost over and I have yet to respond.

I tried again.

Dear Y/N,
I know you must hate me, or think that I hate you. I don't. I'm sorry for being a prick and not responding to your wonderful letters. All beautifully written, even if you were getting annoyed with me at the end. Thank you for writing me even if I never responded.
I suppose what you're truly looking for is why I hadn't been writing. 
I wish I could tell you but I'm not quite sure I understand myself, somehow it just felt as if my words couldn't compete with yours and I never knew what to say. I still don't.
I'm terribly sorry for never responding, you didn't deserve that.
Sincerely,
Draco

I read it over and over again making sure it would hopefully be good enough. I truly had no clue why I was always so worried about what to say to her, I should have just responded and not worried about it. If I had simply done that I wouldn't have gotten myself into this situation.

I folded the parchment and secured it in an envelope and I would have sent it out but her family had been coming just tonight. I left it on my desk as my mother called for me to start getting ready for the dinner. Part of me was excited to see Y/N but I knew she was going to be angry with me which seemed to drown out all of the excitement.

I carefully pulled on one of my nicer button downs and slipped on a pair of trousers making sure my shirt was neatly tucked before throwing on a belt. I noticed my ring, I hadn't ever taken it off unless necessary, I remembered the necklace I had given her. I hoped she hadn't taken it off. I spun the ring round on my finger and smiled sadly before taking a deep breath as I moved towards my mirror. I ran my hands through my hair, ever since we had gotten back from school I hadn't bothered to slick it back. I still made sure it was neat enough to fit my parents standards I knew they wouldn't let me go around with my hair disheveled. I was about to leave my room but decided to have one more check in the mirror just to double check.

I looked loads different, sometimes I almost didn't recognize myself. I stared for a second before shrugging it off then leaving my room, which I had yet to clean up still, I met my mother in the corridor. 

"Come now, Draco, dear. The L/Ns are already here." She smiled sweetly walking up to me and guiding me down to the sitting room. The closer we got the more nervous I became, why hadn't I just written back? I had even managed to write Zabini back once or twice without any thought, why was it different with her why did I care so much more what she thought of me than anyone else?

We walked into the room where my father had been greeting her and her family, my eyes were drawn to her immediately but I forced myself to look the other way. I stared at the wall across the room doing everything in my power to focus on that and just that. It was incredibly hard to focus on that though, considering I could feel her eyes burning holes into my head. I glanced over back at them seeing if I could catch her eye, but I was too late, she had already looked away. The more I looked at her the more I noticed the changes that occurred while we were apart. It was painfully obvious that I wasn't the only one that changed. Her hair had gotten longer, her face had thinned a bit, and she had a new tired look to her. 

She did mention her rubbish summer but what could have made her look like that? I was staring at her face for so long that I barely even noticed the way she looked in her dress. Not only had her face thinned, all of her seemed to thin a bit, thankfully not too much to where she looked sickly though. She looked gorgeous. But I don't think that was the right words to describe someone I considered my best friend. I turned away again in an effort to stop my thoughts but her image was already burned into my head. 

Then I remembered, the necklace, was she still wearing the necklace even though I must seem like an ass? I made a quick glance back to her neck where I saw nothing but bare skin. My heart sank. She had taken it off. I looked down and began fidgeting with my ring.

This was going to be a long night.

A/N: Omg the parallels... I know these past couple chapters have been fairly short but making them shorter makes it easier for me to get more updates out faster so I hope that's okay;;;