Sanders Sides Oneshots [All Ships]

[20] - Moxiety - Sleep Deprived And Anxious

Warnings: virgil is anxious and sad, mentions an anxiety attack, mentions tears, virgil is self deprecating

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It was late at night, Virgil hadn't got any idea how late, but later than he should be awake. And he was lying on his back on the living room's floor, absolutely exhausted from the anxiety attack that he had pretty much just calmed down from.

Virgil wasn't having a great night.

Not only had he a while ago realized that he had managed to fall (that's right, romantically fall) for Patton, but those very feelings were also spurring on his self deprecating thoughts and insecurities to a sometimes overwhelming degree.

Patton was so kind and nice and funny and caring and understanding and talented. Virgil was... a mess. An anxious mess that, no matter how many times the others told him otherwise, mostly just made life more difficult for them all. How could he ever deserve sweet and kind Patton? And why would Patton ever fall for him?

Yes, Virgil was aware how pathetic it was to have an anxiety attack about a crush never liking him back. Apparently that did not stop his brain from pulling him into the raging dumpster fire that his mind sometimes became.

His feelings were just overwhelmingly stupid and hopeless. Not only was the chance of Patton liking him back approximately zero percent, Patton also insisted on treating Virgil as if he was his son, using terms like 'kiddo' and 'son' when referring to him. (At least he called everyone kiddo and at least he had been using those terms less often lately.)

Obviously Patton couldn't have feelings further from romantic for Virgil. And it was so embarrassing that that bothered him so much, he shouldn't let his feelings get to him this much, but sometimes his thoughts were relentless and tonight the self deprecating thoughts about how stupid and unlovable and lonely he was had pushed him over the edge and into an anxiety attack. Granted, he'd already been overly anxious tonight since Thomas had an interview tomorrow (today?).

But now Virgil was so tired and sad, his entire body feeling as it weighed a billion tonnes, and he was just lying on the floor for a too long while before he somehow managed to get up and stumble into the kitchen to get a glass of water and sit down by the table.

He didn't bother turning any lights on, instead just sitting there in the dark and forcing himself to take a sip of his water every few minutes to try to make up for the tears he'd accidentally let fall during the anxiety attack, hoping that maybe it would calm the headache that was causing a pulsating pain in his skull.

He heard soft footsteps coming down the stairs and towards the kitchen, and maybe he should move, sink out and into his room to avoid facing whoever it was that was coming downstairs. But he didn't move, didn't have the time to gather up the strength to move at all, so when the person stepped into the kitchen and flipped the light switch on Virgil was just staring out at the room, blinking and squinting at the sudden light that stabbed his eyes.

"Oh, Virgil!" Patton gasped in surprise and Virgil made a noise somewhat near a grunt, realizing how much of a mess he must look as he saw Patton's expression shift from surprised to worried. His eyeshadow had to have run down his cheeks with his earlier tears, he probably looked disgusting. This is exactly the opposite of how he wanted Patton to see him.

"Kiddo, what happened, how are you?" He asked and Virgil closed his eyes, leaning his head in his hand as he shook his head.

"Had 'n anxiety attack. Self deprecating thoughts. 'M fine." He said, words slightly slurred as his mouth and brain wasn't entirely willing to cooperate. Patton moved a chair next to Virgil's and sat down, pulling Virgil into a hug that he was far from strong-willed enough to resist.