Forbidden, Yet Allowed (Griyego #1)

Chapter 23

FYA - Lost

I feel like my soul just died upon hearing those from Detective Roque. I was staring at the corner of the unit while feeling the cold tiles of the floor that I was sitting on because my knees failed me to support my strength from standing up.

My heart could not accept what my mind had found out. I refuse believing the realization to why he wants me there. I didn't even mastered to say another word after hearing those.

"Afia, I'm back! Ugh, I swear my professor secretly dislikes me that's why he made me come all over to the school–"

He stopped when he found me looking lifeless while sitting on the floor. He immediately rushed towards me and held my arms to make me face him. I felt his hands cold and trembling a bit, probably because he was shocked to find me in a state like this.

"W-What happened? Are you hurt? D-Did Asa hurt you?" Worried and panicking, he didn't know what to do seeing me like this. But he did his best to show his concern towards me, which just made my heart swell more.

"R-Rio, Mama she's... s-she's..." I shook my head a few times for the reason that I cannot say that heartbreaking word.

But it looks like my cousin understood the pain that I could not utter verbally. I saw how pain and sympathy in his eyes before he pulled me into a tight hug and kept on saying things to calm me while I was already sobbing hard. It was hurting my heart so badly that I couldn't even breathe properly. My eyes were also not doing well because of the continuous tears falling from it.

"I-I didn't had the chance to see her again.. I wasn't even able to say how much I missed her. B-Bakit gano'n, Rio?" I kept on asking him the questions I know that wouldn't ever be answered.

"S-Sabi niya babawi siya sa amin, sa akin. She didn't even had the chance to even attend even once in my graduations.. s-sobrang saya ko nang malaman kong makakauwi na siya bago ako makapag graduate ng kolehiyo, pero paano na ngayon? How can I even see her now that she's gone?!" I kept on crying while clutching the shirt of my cousin. "S-She lied to me! She lied to me! Ba't ganito ang nangyari sa kanya?!" Patuloy ang aking hagulgol hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan ay unti-unting naubos na rin ang aking lakas.

Two days went by and I was still the same. I was just sitting at the single sofa inside my room looking outside the window. I don't have the will to talk, eat, sleep nor just live now. I am just a dead soul trapped inside a body. I feel like everything in my life now just suddenly went vain, like there was nothing more to be looking forward to.

I kept my distance from everyone. I told Rio to never speak to me about Mama's case nor to anyone else. Papa doesn't have any clue to what happened to Mama and I was scared to what will happen to him if once he finds out. Because somehow, I can contain and tolerate my pain, but I can't imagine if Papa were to feel what I am feeling. I just can't. Hyal, Sol, and Mordi were asking about me, but I never showed myself and remained inside my room. I never even got to say that we already knew each other back when we were kids. I just really isolated myself from everything and everyone. Rio, on the other hand, was having a hard time dealing with me, but I saw how he was doing his everything to give me strength even if he was in the edge, as well.

"A-Afia, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm so sorry. If I could... I wouldn't hesitate to take Abigail's place," Tita Nevaeh said once she came over into my room after finding out about Mama.

She was crying so hard while Tito Russel was standing on her side holding her shoulders. This was my first time seeing her cry so badly. Despite of it, she still looks so beautiful and angelic. I know how she's so guilty and broken when she heard the news from Detective. I couldn't also imagine how she is feeling right now, considering how long she and mother know each other. She treated Mama as her own sister, and hearing what happened to her, I know how in deep pain she is. But I couldn't do anything as well to make her feel better, for I was also suffering from the same agony as hers. The only thing I could do for her was to share each other's pain until we came to the point where we feel nothing.