I still won't say names but I'll refer to names I have said. If you read my last part you'll remember CJ. Well. We were dating. Were. That's what I dont get anymore. Why do I love people who I only get to have for a shit amount of time.? Is it life's way of saying "fuck you"? Because I wouldn't put it past it. Karma has it out for me, I swear.
I'm currently lying to.. Let's say his name is Greg. I lie about things I'm into. Things im not into. And things that dont even matter. Why? I'm. So. Lonely. I get tired of being alone. I get scared of being alone.. I get sad when im alone.
I want to feel okay. And Im desperate to try anything to achieve that. I'll scar myself everyday for a year if after that it means I'll be free of my mind. It's getting worse everyday. I have twitches. I have hallucinations. And I do things that only the most fucked of people would do. I'll say this for the thousandth time.
I am not a good person.
⁽ᴵ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ⁱᵗ⁾
You have become my diary. So, thanks for that. Thank you for listening and putting up with my bull shit when I felt like no one else wanted to or had enough energy or time to. If anyone really does read these chapters when I post them, then youre probably just as sad and fucked as I am. So just know youre not alone, okay?
Also.. Momento Mori.
Unus
Annus
