Im going to cry. You see that number in the title? Yeah. I just weighed myself and I'm just above that. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm eating right. I'm not doing too bad on the work out thing. I do 20 or more sit ups in my room each day. If I'm alone. I'm seriously done with this bullshit. I've known for a while that I'm getting heavier. My ass. My thighs. My stomach. My face. I don't want to be fat anymore. I know people will say, "stop it, you weight doesn't matter. Your heart does.". Yeah well, to them it does. To other people, it's opposite. I get disgusted just by looking at myself in the mirror. Each day while I'm getting ready to go to school, I literally "check myself out" to make sure I don't look too fat or look too ugly or look too much or not enough of anything. I'm sorry for putting myself down like this, but it's just how I feel. I don't want to eat anymore. I love food, don't get me wrong. It's the side effects I hate. Don't say weight doesn't matter, or looks don't matter, because deep down we all know they matter. I have to check myself at school regularly on a camera to fix my face or my outfit. I have to make sure I live up to their expectations otherwise they hate on me for it. I'm so done with life. I seriously want to give up. I'm. So. Done. I'm sorry. I'm not saying I want to die or anything. I do, just not now. I'm just saying I'm done with everyone and everything else. I'm sorry.
