I tried to commit suicide on November 2, 2021. Im sure ive already told you that. Im sure ive already said i wish it worked. But now i really mean it. I keep fucking up my relationship. Everything I do is some sort of wrong. Im wrong. I've never really dine anything right. Even my school work is mediocre or less than. I dont know what to do. I dint know if I should do anything. I want to punish myself. I want to cut and bleed but that will just get me in trouble or she'll think its because if her. I'm in a corner and I feel trapped. I want to get out of all these wring situations but nothing seems to help. I try to dig myself out of holes but all I do it dig deeper. I dont know how to have a healthy relationship. Im sorry. Its my fault. Its always been my fault. Its my fault sadie had so much hatred toward me. Its my fault yasmine hates me. Its my fault that my friends dont exactly like me. Its my fault that my relationship is starting to fail. She says she wants to marry me but why when I do shit to upset her at every turn. Why when you feel as though youre not important to me. Why when all I do is treat you like shit or say youre over reacting. I wish I could be better. I wish I could help you with everything. I just wish I was never born. Everything would be fine if I wasnt here to begin with in the first place. I should have died. My body has been trying to kill me for years but nothing will just let it. Everything is wrong because I'm here. I think im going to cut again.
