When I loved her she didnt love me. When I called for her she wouldnt call back. When I loved her it tore a hole in me that I had to fight to fill. Its still hurts. It still burns. It still stings. What did I do so wrong?? Why doesnt she want me? Am I too much? Am I not enough? These are the questions that keep me asleep everyday. I dont want to face myself or the world anymore. I feel like I disappointed myself. I wasnt supposed to be like this. I'm ashamed of who I am. I'm ashamed of all that I do. Its been 7 years and I still think about her. What if I could be more. Do more. Would she want me then? What if I were as established as her? Would she want me then? I'm my own person and it scares me. What if I fuck up my life? What if I slip up and she hates me? What if I left and then I died. Would she care? Would she know? I hate myself.
