All These Years (Kageyama x Reader)

Chapter Thirty

~•Y/n First Person POV•~

"Are you all right?" Ukai spoke after three minutes of consecutive silence.

The world just opened up and swallowed me whole. Right here in this store. The convenience store I've spent countless hours in. I have very fond memories here. And not so fond memories; this being one of them.

After Kageyama helped me rearrange the room, he ended up spending the rest of the night with me. I woke up in a cold sweat four times due to the same nightmare. Each time I woke him up as well. I'd apologize and then he'd hold me until I fell asleep again. Then I'd wake from a nightmare again, and we'd have to follow the same routine again.

The next morning was horrible. I could tell he was being very careful with every action he took, every word spoken. He is not subtle. At all.

I then thought he'd never go home, but after two hours of convincing (and Ukai calling, telling me he was on the way to take me to the shop for lunch), he went home. Ukai drove me to his store while he made me tell him everything I knew. When I told him what I thought about my mother, he didn't look surprised. When I pointed that out, he went quiet. His silence said more to me than any sentence could have. That's when he asked if I was all right. Am I all right? Am I?

"How could I be?"

Ukai waited before speaking. "What was that?"

"I said how could I be?" I shouted. "You knew? You kept this secret from me this whole time?"

"Kiddo, can you try to understand the position I was in?" he asked.

"The position you were in," I laughed to myself. "You could never understand the position I was in! I thought, my whole life, that my mother hated me just as my father does. But now I'm finding out that she was dead this whole time! And that her death only happened because I was born! Which is why my father hates me!" I had to stop myself from leaving him on the floor. "So what is it? You've been lying to me this whole time? Or was it just secret keeping?"

"Kiddo-"

"Stop calling me that," I snapped.

"Like you, I didn't know how to tell you," he spoke very, very carefully. I am so sick of people acting wary around me. "I never knew when the right time was. I didn't know if there was ever going to be. I didn't know if you were ever going to be ready to head the truth."

"So when I cried to you in this same spot a few months ago about how I didn't understand why my life fanned out this way, you were fine with just not telling me." For what felt like the millionth time this week, my eyes burned with tears. "You were fine with leaving me to question everything."

"I was so close to telling you, I really was. Not telling you was the worst decision I've ever made. I'm not going to make any excuses, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm so sorry," he apologized.

Other than Kageyama, Ukai has been the other only constant in my life. He is the closest thing I have to family; the only thing I can call family. Though I completely disagree with his actions, I understand them. I did the same. When I told Kageyama, he didn't get angry with me like he had every right to, instead, he listened, and comforted me when I needed him to.