FORBIDDEN FEELINGS part 2

Chapter 26- The Argument

Malfoy and I haven't spoken since that day in my dorm. I can't believe he found the letters. I mean, at least I've learnt that I need to stop attention seeking and realise that I have Malfoy. Well, had him. Oh my God I need to apologise to him like now.

It's the Wednesday 8th March and the sky is grey. I see him sitting alone on a bench in the Transfiguration court yard reading a book. I take a deep breath and approach him. We're the only ones here so we don't need to lower our voices. As I walk up to him, he looks up from his book and rolls his eyes. He starts to stand up to leave but I push him back down onto the bench. He forces himself to give me a dirty look.

"Malfoy? We need to talk" I let him know.

He just carries of reading the book, ignoring me. I look at the book he's reading and it's a potions one. It's cute that he cares so much about his education.

"Please Malfoy, I think you deserve an explanation."

He looks up at me. Our eyes connect and we take a minute to hold eye contact.

"Go on then. Explain." He shuts his book and places it in his satchel, then crosses his arms waiting for an answer.

"Okay yeah. I have been sending letters to this guy Nick. I met him on holiday but that means nothing."

"It means nothing, Carter? Means nothing however you still have the effort and time to write back to him and even say I love you to him. Yeah it sounds like nothing to me."

"I didn't say it back- "

"How am I supposed to believe a liar like you?" He stands up, towering over me.

This hurts me. "I'm not a liar Malfoy."

He scoffs "You're lying to yourself right now."

"Well I'm not lying to you now though. I don't love this guy. We just kissed" I regret saying that. I see the sadness fill his face. He looks away from me for a second, rolling his eyes.

"You just don't understand, do you Carter? You just can't just cheat again and expect me to forgive you."

"Excuse me" I push him. "You were the one who ended things with us. Do you not remember saying that you never wanted to see me again? Because I do and I thought that was the end of the road for us two."

"You were probably happy about that weren't you?"

"Why would I be happy about that Malfoy?"

"Because if you were sad about it, then you wouldn't have fallen for someone that you just met holiday."

"I didn't fall for him. I didn't even like him that much."

"But you still send letters to him. Your leading him on. How selfish can you be? And that's what makes me worried. Like did you ever have feelings for me or has all this been a little game of yours."

Ironically, it starts to rain and we're staring at each other with the rain hitting our heads hard.

"No. Malfoy this isn't a game."

He shakes his head "I don't think I can trust you anymore."

My heart drops. We've lost the trust we had for each other. He starts to walk away in the heavy rain, leaving me alone. I feel a tear roll down my face. He's made me feel like shit. But I'm not the only bad guy here and he can't make me feel like this when he has done things too "Well you're not so innocent yourself Malfoy." He turns around "You broke me and Cedric up. Isn't that a little selfish too?"

He walks up to me "No. I could see right through you, Carter. I knew he wasn't the one you wanted."

"Clearly not. I did like Cedric. But because you didn't have me, you had to just go and ruin it."

"Have you just forgotten everything? You took the love potion; we all know the truth. You just don't want to admit that you did like me the whole time, and there's you again faking feelings for attention. You're just one big attention seeking whore."

I gasp "Don't you dare call me that. You're one to talk. You weren't getting attention from me so you had to be a selfish twat and give me that stupid love potion so you could get me back. You didn't even give me a chance to love Cedric because you didn't get any attention so just shut up."

"Don't tell me to shut up. You just can't deal with the truth."

"I think you should tell yourself that. Listen Malfoy, you and I both know that I had feelings for you."

"Well you say that and then go ahead and date everyone who has a cock."

I shake my head "I don't know why you said earlier that you didn't think that I actually liked you, even when the love potion told you different."

"Yeah but what I don't understand is that you used guys to just hide the feelings. Why were you avoiding dating me?"

"Because it's us! We're not good for each other. But I wish we were."

He sighs "That's why we'll never date. Because like right now, we're arguing. We aren't suited and I just don't trust you, and if I can't trust you now, then I won't trust you ever."

"Don't say that. You know that's not true."

"It is. Goodbye Carter" He looks at the floor and a raindrop falls off his nose. He leaves for good. That was painful. We had a full on argument then. The thing is, who won that? I don't think any of us did. I decide to head back to the common room and I'm genuinely soaked and cold. I enter the room, and everyone stares at me.

"Bloody hell! You're soaking!" Ron yells.

"No shit" I say in a low tone.

"Are you okay?" Dean asks, concerned.

I nod and walk to me and Hermione's dorm. I jump onto the bed and bury my head into the pillow. Tears leave my eyes and drenches the pillow. Why did we have that argument? I regret saying anything. I should have just apologised, and things would be fine between us. But no. I was stupid, and I had to shout at him. Why did I blame him too? He did nothing wrong. He's right as well, I used guys to hide my feelings for him. But why? I did like Cedric but not the way I like Malfoy. And Nick was okay I guess, but Malfoy is the one for me. However, I've now lost him. He trusted me and now I've ruined it. Like I ruin everything. This is all my fault.