If Only

2

"Give me your homework Kim!" You heard someone shout when you were placing your books in your locker. Your blood boiled when you managed to see who was behind the loud voice.

"Get the fuck away from her Camila!" The girl named Camila suddenly stepped back when she saw your figure standing across her. Camila's grip on Jennie's collar loosened when she saw your clenched fist and tightened jaw.

"Uh hey Y/N" Camila was the head cheerleader of your school and was known to have a huge crush on you. Yes, she's one of the prettiest girls in your school but she was no Jennie.

Whenever you see a girl, you would always compare her to your bestfriend. Jennie's gummy smile was your favorite, it always manage to drive you crazy, her chubby cheeks and the way her eyes glow whenever she saw something pretty or when she's just happy made your heart melt.

You stepped in between Jennie and Camila while pointing your index finger towards the latter.

"If I ever see you lay a hand on her again, you are a dead meat. You know damn well I don't give a shit if I get expelled here." You spat while giving Camila a deadly glare. She gulped and you saw her eyes brimming with tears as she ran away.

"You don't always have to protect me, Y/N. You will get in trouble if you keep on doing these things. I can do this on my own." Jennie sighed. It was always like this, she will say things like you protecting her doesn't matter but you always feel that it's the complete opposite.

"I know you can do things on your own, Jen. But damn it! You should know when to fight back" it was rare for you to raise your voice to Jennie because you know she's sensitive and gets easily scared. It wasn't your intention to shout but you couldn't help but feel frustrated whenever you see someone hurt Jennie, your Jennie.

Jennie flinched when you yelled and you immediately wrapped your arms around the small girl.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout. I'm not mad at you, you know that it's impossible for me to hate you. I'm just mad at myself for letting you get hurt."

"I know, Y/N. Thank you for always being there for me, I honestly don't know what I'll do without you."

"You'll miss me when I'm gone ya know"

"What? Are you going somewhere Y/N?" Her eyes were now looking at your brown ones, and you can't help but feel your stomach turn. Her eyes were always your favorite because her cat-eyed shape hazel eyes held a lot of emotions. It is true that the eyes are the windows to your soul.

"I'm going away now, Nini. Somewhere far from here."

"What?! You're leaving me now?" Tears start to form on her eyes and your delicate fingers trace the familiar chubby cheeks.

"I'm just kidding, Jen! Ha! I'm just going to the gym for training. I got you didn't I?" She started slapping your arms and a smile formed your lips when you saw how mad she is at you.

"I hate you! For a moment I thought the world stopped when you said you're leaving."

"I can never leave you Jennie. Even if I can, I won't."

---

"Dude, what did you do to Camila?" Your teammate, (the other person you trust besides Jennie) Dinah questioned you while you change after practice.

"She was hurting Jennie and I just told her to back off or else she's a dead meat."

"God, you're whipped af!" Dinah started laughing while you just rolled your eyes.

"I'm not whipped, D. She's my bestfriend okay?"

"Bestfriend my ass. Everyone knows you have a thing for her."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't have feelings for her?!"

"Y/N, listen to me okay?" You looked at your friend and noticed that she's turned into serious mode now, a very rare side of Dinah Jane.

"I can see the way you look at her. The way you smile whenever she tells you stories about her dog, Kuma. How you react when someone tries to steal her attention from you. I even remember the time when Taehyung gave her flowers on Valentine's Day. Your face were red and your fists were ready to beat the shit out of that poor boy. Bestfriends don't act like that, Y/N. You spend most of your time with her and there's no way in hell you won't fall inlove with a face like hers. I know it's hard to admit but the way you act towards her is far from being 'just friends'."

"I'm scared to lose her, Dinah. She's all I have."

"But you can always take a risk. What if she likes you too? What if you waited too long that she starts to develop feelings for someone else?"

"I don't know. If she's happy with him or her then I'll just let her go."

"Bullshit, Y/N. Would you rather sit there and do nothing than take a leap of faith? I'm just saying, what if she likes you back? Would you live a normal life knowing something beautiful might've happened if you only told her the truth?"

Dinah has a point and you couldn't get your mind off the things she said.

"We only have two months left til graduation, Y/N. Just tell her before it's too late."

---

The conversation you had with Dinah a couple of days ago were still lingering in your mind. It was hard to come up with a decision that can basically ruin your friendship.

You were sitting on Jennie's bed when you hear her scream at the top of her lungs.

"What the fuck, Jennie? Are you trying to make me deaf?"

"I got in, Y/N" you stood up and went to her.

"I got accepted in YG Entertainment" your arms automatically found its way on her waist as you pulled her to your pounding chest. You tried to be happy for her because this was her dream, to become an idol. But, a part of you was hurt because she will leave you here in Busan.

"I'm happy for you, Nini"

When Jennie pulled away, you noticed her face fell the moment your eyes connected.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy you got in?"

"I just realized I won't be seeing you that much anymore, Y/N, and that alone scares me. I'm torned between accepting this or not."

"This is your dream remember? This is your time to do the things you really want. Jennie, I will always be here for you. And I'm just a couple of miles away, I can visit you whenever you're free. We can make this work, okay?"

"Just promise me nothing will change between us, Y/N."

"I promise"