If Only

22

Y/N's POV

Do you ever wonder why you get hurt multiple times? Why life is unfair? Why it rains after a bright and sunny day?

Well, someone used to tell me that 'If you want to see the rainbow, you've got to wait for the rain'. Maybe it's okay to get hurt. Maybe it's okay because life is preparing you for something more beautiful.

And today, I have to say, I finally saw a rainbow and it's beautiful.

The sky is blue, just the way she loved it. The flowers were blooming and I'm sure she'd be smiling if she was here. But what makes me sad is the cold breeze and I remember the way she felt in my arms that day. The way her eyes tried to stay open and her lips that managed to say the three words I've been longing to hear. The most painful day in my life. Now I'm here, sitting in front of her gravestone. Setting down her favorite flower.

"I miss you"

"-I dreamt of you last night, my love."

"-we were at the Ferris Wheel and you were staring at the sky. And I took the time to look at you one more time. But then you faced me and told me you'd look for me in another lifetime"

I tried to hold back my sob but it was impossible when memories of the past keep on flooding my mind. If only I could erase those bad memories, I would do it in an instant.

"-I'd give everything I can to hold you again for the last time."

(Flashback)

Kai was pointing the gun at me and by the time he pulled the trigger, someone stood in front of me.

"N-no!"

"Oh god no!" I held her closer to me as I saw blood dripping on her back. She was clinging onto me, her weight against me and I couldn't hold back my tears because she's starting to lose her consciousness.

"-Stay with me!"

"Mina! Please stay with me, baby!" She was covered in blood and I tried my best to stay strong for her.  I saw Jennie run towards us and I asked her to call for help. The scene in front of me is making my heart beat uncontrollably and I honestly wished I could turn back time.

"Why Mina?" I sobbed when she held my face with her delicate fingers.

"I was s-supposed to surprise you, baby. I told Jihyo that I'd be coming o-over so I asked her if she could stall you for a bit."

"-and I couldn't let you get hurt. You've been hurt enough, my love."

Jennie stood beside me as cops begin to surround Kai and the sound of an ambulance was heard in a distance.

"I love you, Y/N. I hope she will make you happy."

(End of flashback)

"It's been three years since you left me, Minari."

"Three years of agony but in those painful years, someone still managed to make her way in my heart. You told me how pain makes us stronger and I didn't know what that meant before."

"I think I know that by now. I finally found the happiness I crave in years. You know, I thought that losing you was my end as well but then I always remember you telling me to get my shit together."

"I'm okay now, Mina"

"I hope you would be happy for me because I'm proposing to Jennie tonight."

"She was there for me when I lost you and she didn't let me go. Just like you back when she broke my heart."

"I will never ever forget you, Mina."