Stray Kids Oneshots

💙💜Summertime (Chanlix)

This story is based on the song Summertime by My Chemical Romance. It's different than their usual songs and a lot softer. It is a love song after all.

Also, for some background on this story, object permanence is something that children learn when they're young that is basically things continue to exist even when you can't see them. Quick psychology lesson. For this story, Felix does have object permanence, with objects. But not with people. Whenever he can't see someone, he doesn't know that they're still there and existing even if they're with him. (Disclaimer: I do not believe this is a real thing, this is just something that I came up with on the top of my head).

------

The two boys lay in peaceful silence just enjoying each other's company. Felix was snuggled close with his head on Chan's chest as Chan had an arm wrapped around the smaller boy hugging him closer.

Felix let his eyes flutter shut as he grew more comfortable against his boyfriend. As soon as he closed his eyes, though, anxiety started setting in. He tried to control it since he wanted to rest his eyes while with Chan, but after less than a minute, he wasn't able to handle the stress. He knew Chan was still with him, he could feel him underneath him, but his mind simply made him disappear.

Felix was aware that his object permanence was limited to just inanimate objects. He knew that as soon as he closed his eyes, he wouldn't be able to understand where Chan was, even if he knew that he was still with him. His only wish was that he didn't have to suffer from this and that he would be able to sleep peacefully at night knowing that everyone he loved was still alive and with him, but that simply wasn't the case. Every single night he would have to fight off the anxiety of not knowing where any of his friends were or not knowing that his parents still existed. He especially hated that he wasn't able to sleep around his boyfriend, since his anxiety always skyrocketed when he did. He loved Chan deeply and even the thought of losing him hurt Felix immensely. When he would sleep over at his boyfriend's house, he would always have to basically drug himself to be able to sleep decently, which wasn't something that he enjoyed doing.

His eyes began to water as soon as they were open again. He looked at Chan's face and began feeling it to make sure he was really there. "You're here. You're here. You're here." Felix kept repeating the sentence over and over again to himself to remind him that his boyfriend was in fact real and was with him.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here," Chan whispered, hugging his boyfriend tightly so that he would be able to calm down. "I'm not leaving you. It's okay. I'm staying right here. I will stay with you forever. I promise that. Okay?" Chan placed a small kiss on Felix's forehead.

Chan was aware of Felix's condition. He hated seeing him get so extremely stressed by just closing his eyes for barely half a second. He always comforted the younger when he would accidentally drift off and then wake up in a panic. He would let Felix poke and prod him every time it happened so that he could reassure himself that Chan still existed. While Chan did think that it was tiring sometimes to deal with, his love for Felix was much stronger.

Felix ran his hands up and down Chan's chest, feeling his body, and then his arms. He rubbed his hands on Chan's sides, which made the latter squirm and giggle a little bit since he was ticklish there. This was a normal process every morning when Felix was over. Any time Felix spent the night with Chan, they went through the same routine in the morning since the sleep aids had worn off and he was finally conscious again.

"You exist. You're still here." Felix sighed in relief as his anxiety had washed away after roaming his boyfriend's body, confirming that he was still there.

"I'm not leaving. I'm not going to just leave you. I promise you," Chan smiled, and placed another kiss on Felix's cheek. He lifted himself off the bed momentarily to grab a marker from his desk. Felix watched the older boy as he settled back on the bed and took Felix's arm in his hand and began writing.

As soon as Chan let go of his arm, Felix brought it back over to him so that he could read what the other had written.

You can run away with me anytime you want

Felix smiled at the words, and hugged Chan tightly, not closing his eyes completely. He thought that what Chan had written was extremely cheesy and gushy, but he still loved it, nonetheless. He was overjoyed to have a boyfriend like Chan who he knew wasn't going to leave him any time soon. He loved how annoying Chan would be and how loving he was. He wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, and Chan knew it too. They were made for each other. One could not exist without the other since the day they met.

They pulled away from each other, looking into each other's eyes briefly, Felix because he had to, and Chan because he wanted to take his time in admiring the boy in front of him. He was so strong and courageous, and Chan loved every part of him. He wouldn't trade Felix for anything in the universe.