Stray Kids Oneshots

💙What Does He Have? (Changjin/Changlix)

This story is based on the song Ce Are Ea by Delia. It translates to "What Does She Have". It's a really pretty and sad song. The idea is similar to the unreleased song that was teased on the recent 3racha live "I'm Sorry For Liking You".

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Friends. That's what we were. That was how we defined our relationship. I would've liked it to be more, but unfortunately, we can't always get what we want. If I had it my way, he would be with me, and we would be happy, and everything would be perfect.

But that's not how he wanted it. He has what he wanted. It makes me happy to see him happy. But it hurts knowing that I'm not the reason for it. Felix was the one who put the smile on his face, not me. Felix was the one that would make him blush with stupid pick-up lines that usually didn't make sense, not me. Felix was the one who got to tell him that he loved him.

Not me.

Changbin would always come to me every day and gush on about how in love he was. He would tell me everything that happened between the two, even mentioning the butterflies he got when Felix's name popped up on his screen when he called. He didn't leave any details out.

I guess my façade of being happy when I was with them had ended, though. After rambling about how amazing Felix was, he stopped talking, and the room grew silent. I hadn't really tried to fix an expression of excitement on my face, being too tired to try anymore.

"Are you okay?" Changbin asked.

I looked around the room, not able to make eye contact with him. Was he finally going to figure it out? Was I going to tell him, or would he be able to guess? It shouldn't have been that hard.

"Hello?" He waved a hand in front of my eyes, trying to get my attention. I looked up at him, still not faking a smile. "Really, are you good?"

I started chewing on the inside of my lip, trying to find a way to respond. If I said how I really felt, I knew he was going to end something with someone. And it most likely wasn't going to be Felix.

But it also felt wrong to hide this from him, even if it upset him. I felt like I was lying to him. It was hurting me, especially seeing them two together. I didn't want to damage any relationship he had with anyone, but I didn't want to continue hiding from him. Even if he decided to part ways and never speak to me again, at least he would know my feelings.

"What does he have that I don't? You've come to me in the worst moments of your life, trusting me enough to expose yourself to me, telling and showing me the worst sides of you. Has he seen what you've done before? Would you ever let him know about that? If you came to me while it was pouring rain, I would pull you inside, dry your clothes and try to keep you warm. Would he do that? Would he really? If you stopped giving him things, would he still say that he loves you? Tell me if you have ever heard him say that you are easy to love even when you don't bring flowers. Tell me."

I knew I crossed the line. I shouldn't have said anything. Once I started, I just couldn't stop. At least he knew now. If he slapped me across the face and walked out the door, I wouldn't blame him. But he didn't.

He sat there in shock. I could tell he was confused and clearly upset about what I had said. I would've been, too, if he had said that to me. I shouldn't have spoken up and spilled. I knew it was a bad idea, and yet, I still did it. I didn't know what was going to happen from here. It was definitely going to be awkward if we stayed friends. I wanted to stay friends with him, but I would understand completely if he didn't.

"Hyunjin..."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. You should go. Go see Felix," I stood up to walk to the door to let him out, now embarrassed about what I just did.

But he didn't get up. He sat there on the couch, his mouth open and his eyes following me as I walked to the door.

"Please leave."

He looked lost in his thoughts, still not moving, but his gaze shifting to the floor. His grip on the throw pillow in his lap loosened a bit as he looked for something to say other than my name.

"I'm asking you again. Please go. I want to be alone right now, and I'm sure you don't want to see me either. Please go see Felix."

He looked up at me again, now actually standing up and walking to the door, hopefully to leave.

"Thank you for telling me, Hyunjin," he whispered as he walked out the door finally. I closed it behind him and leaned my back against it, throwing my head back, cringing from the embarrassment.

"You're an idiot," I whispered to myself.