Bad Decisions

Chapter Twenty-Two

-Devin-

He had decided to put off his confession for one more night and just have fun with Avery instead. After sex and a hot shower, he pulled his clothes on and flopped down on the bed.

Avery, however, had other ideas. He stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed. "I'd rather be alone tonight," he said.

He smirked, knowing that Avery had tried this in the past and failed. "Are you kicking me out?"

Avery avoided his eyes.

"Come on, I won't bother you. I won't say anything. You can read or do whatever you want and I'll just go to sleep."

"I'm not feeling good," Avery replied. "I want some space."

He sat up, concerned. This was different, and he didn't want to tease Avery or push him if he actually wasn't feeling well. Now that he thought about it, Avery had seemed quieter than usual during sex.

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No."

He got up and walked over to Avery, gently putting a hand on his back. "Lay down. I can give you a massage."

Avery obeyed, but he didn't move over when Devin sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't need a massage. I probably just need to get some sleep."

He stroked Avery's hair, softly brushing it away from his forehead. "I'm sorry you're not feeling good."

Avery closed his eyes. "I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're sure I can't stay?" He wanted to make sure Avery would be okay. He wanted to stay and comfort him, not go back to his too-quiet cabin alone.

"No, just go," Avery replied, not opening his eyes. "There's no need for you to stay. You got what you wanted."

He felt surprisingly hurt at that statement. Sex wasn't all he wanted. He wanted Avery. He wanted to sleep next to him and hold him all night. That was becoming more important to him than sex, and that's something he never thought he would say. Disappointed, he stood up.

"Okay, I hope you feel better. Goodnight." 

He leaned down and kissed Avery's forehead before walking away.

-Avery-

A tear leaked from his closed eyes and ran down his cheek. He felt absolutely terrible about pushing Devin away, and it took everything in him not to run after Devin and tell him to come back. He felt even worse that he had lied about not feeling well. Devin had seemed concerned, and he had been so sweet. It made it difficult for him to cut things off with Devin when Devin was being cuddly or caring. In those moments Devin seemed like he could be a good boyfriend.

He rolled over and tried to push that thought from his mind. This was Devin, the guy who had purposely never had a boyfriend. The guy who didn't want a boyfriend or to sleep with the same guy more than a couple times. The guy who kicked his sex partners out immediately after and never let anyone stay. Devin had made it clear what he wanted and didn't want. It didn't do Avery any good to wish things could be different or to pretend that they were.

It also wasn't doing him any good to keep putting off ending things with Devin. A couple days had passed since Devin had brought him the ice cream, but he hadn't managed to slow things down between them. He knew that the longer he delayed the inevitable, the more it was going to hurt when he finally ripped the Band-Aid off.

He spent the next day hiding out in his cabin for a few hours before slipping off to the shed to work on his project until dinner. He was trying to keep his mind off what he had to do tonight. Last night he had succeeded in sending Devin back to his own cabin after they had sex, but tonight he was going to end that too. No more sex. He figured it would be better to cut things off now, while Devin was still around and he could slowly say goodbye to him. Quitting cold turkey when Devin left and never looked back would be worse. As much as it would hurt, he had to be strong and put an end to it.