Bad Decisions

Chapter Twenty-Four

-Devin-

After spending hours laying in his cabin feeling horrible, he started to get hungry. He walked over to the main building for dinner, not knowing if he'd see Avery there. When he opened the door and stepped inside, he saw everyone at the table except for Avery. He was met with glares from every single person.

"What?" he asked, already feeling defensive.

"Just get your food and leave," Amanda told him. "Even though Avery isn't here, we don't want you around."

"What did he say I did?" he asked, his words coming out angrily even though his heart was pounding in his chest.

"He didn't say anything, but why else would he be upset? You torment him every chance you get," Sam shot back. 

He opened his mouth to argue, but it was pointless. She was right.

"Avery has never said a single bad thing about you," she continued. "He's defended you since the first day you got here, God knows why, and he's never given up on you. But it's taken a toll on him. He doesn't smile as much as he used to ever since you got here. He was the happiest person I'd ever met, but you've stolen some of that shine from him. And I don't know what you did because he's too kind to tell us, but whatever it was, you've upset him so much that he won't leave his cabin and he won't eat. I've never seen him like this. I don't understand how you can be so horrible to him. You make me sick."

His heart sank. What he had done to Avery was indefensible, and he felt a new wave of guilt come over him upon hearing how upset Avery was. He turned and left without taking any food. If Avery wasn't going to eat, then he didn't deserve to either.

-

The next morning he went out to the truck, working up the courage to face Avery and apologize for what he'd done. Instead, Marc was standing by the truck and Avery was nowhere to be seen.

"You're with me today," Marc said. "Avery told Mitch he's sick, so he's not working today." He took a step closer to Devin, cornering him against the truck. "Peter went out to the shed where Avery keeps his project this morning to see if Avery had any extra tools. He called the rest of us over and we all saw what had happened. I don't know what would possess you to do something like that. If I knew I could get away with it, I'd beat the shit out of you right now."

"Then do it," he mumbled. "Go on and hit me. I deserve it."

Marc snorted in disgust and shook his head. "You're not worth it. You're not worth a goddamn thing." He walked around to the driver's side and slammed the door. 

Devin reluctantly got in, feeling worse than he would have if Marc had hit him. He'd never felt more ashamed than he did now. He didn't care if he got in trouble or if someone retaliated. Nothing could be worse than what he'd done to Avery and everyone knowing how cruel he'd been to the person who would never deserve something like that.

Marc didn't speak to him the rest of the day except to bark out instructions, and he carelessly tossed tools in Devin's direction, making no effort to keep from hitting him. Devin kept his head down and worked quickly, and as soon as they were back at the camp, he slunk off to his cabin.

When he was sure they were all settled in for the night, he snuck out to the kitchen to grab a banana and a couple energy bars. He didn't know if Avery was still refusing to eat, so he grabbed some extra in case. He wanted to make sure Avery was going to be okay, and he needed to apologize to him. The words had been tumbling around in his head all day.

He knocked on Avery's door, but Avery never answered. After a few minutes, he gave up and went back to his own cabin. It was beginning to feel like he had really screwed up. Avery had always made time to talk with him, even when he wasn't happy with him. Everything about this felt different.

-

The next morning, he walked out front to see who he'd be going with today, but everyone's truck was still parked there. He went over to the main building to find someone, and stopped just outside the door when he overheard his name.

"So, who wants to take Devin today?"

There was silence, and then they all began arguing. Everyone had a reason why they didn't want to work with him.

"He ruined Avery's entire project!" Sam ranted. "He's a monster and I don't want anything to do with him. Devil doesn't even begin to describe him at this point."

"I can't spend another day anywhere near him. It took everything in me not to break his nose yesterday," Marc said.

"I don't blame you," Amanda chimed in. "It's such a shame. He seemed to be doing really well for a while, but I think Sam put it best. Having to work with him has ruined our summer."

"I don't want to work with him either," Peter said. "I think he's more trouble than he's worth. Mitch should send Devin home at this point, even if it makes our organization look bad."

All his life he'd never let what other people thought of him bother him, but he felt terrible hearing this. No one wanted him. He knew he couldn't blame them after everything he'd done, but it still felt like shit.

"I'll take him," he heard a voice say quietly. 

It was Avery. He hadn't known Avery would be back to work today. His heart felt a tiny bit of hope. If Avery volunteered to work with him, maybe he didn't completely hate him, and he'd have a chance to make amends.

"Oh no, you don't have to do that," Amanda insisted. "No one expects you to deal with him again while he's here."

"I'll do it," Marc said. "I don't want you around him."

"It's fine. I'm tired of all the arguing. You all clearly don't want to do it, but someone has to."

"Avery -"

Before anything else could be said, Avery walked out of the building. He stopped short upon seeing Devin. "You're here."

"Yeah," he replied, not able to meet Avery's eyes.

He followed Avery to the truck, trying to think about what he should say to him. They were both silent as the truck rambled down the gravel road.

He finally cleared his throat and turned in his seat towards Avery. "Avery, I'm so sorry. I regret what I did more than I've ever regretted anything. If I could go back and undo it, I would, and if there's anything I can do to fix it, I'll do it. I'm really sorry. You must hate me, and I know I deserve that."

Avery sighed, still not looking at him. "I don't hate you. I just don't like you."

Somehow, hearing that was worse. Avery didn't dislike anyone, and if he had managed to be the first, then that said something.

Avery continued. "You're not a good person. I thought maybe you were underneath it all, but I was wrong. You're cruel to everyone you come across, and I don't know why. I've never met someone so heartless. You're not someone I want to be around, but right now it's my job to be around you. Please don't make it any harder."

He felt like someone had their hand around his heart and was squeezing it. He'd never felt this way before. No one else's words had ever mattered, but Avery's words cut deep.

Avery reached over and turned on the radio in the truck. They only got one crappy station out here, so they never listened to the radio. Avery clearly didn't want to talk to him.

For the rest of the day, he was quiet. He did whatever Avery asked him to do, because focusing on the work kept his mind from racing. When they arrived back at camp, Avery got out of the truck without a word to him. He reluctantly went back to his cabin, and even though he was hungry, he waited until he heard everyone else head back to their cabins for the night before he snuck over to the kitchen. 

He was prepared to have to scrounge around for food and make something for himself, but when he opened the fridge, he saw a new Tupperware filled with whatever the group had made for dinner. At least they had decided to still feed him and not leave him completely on his own, and he knew he should be grateful for that. He also felt immense guilt, because even though Avery didn't want anything to do with him, he was sure that Avery was the one who had left the food for him. The others would have had no problem leaving him to fend for himself.