Bad Decisions

Chapter Thirty-One

-Devin-

Friends. That's what Avery was offering. 

At first he'd thought he was dreaming when he opened his door and saw Avery standing there. He'd hoped that Avery was coming to tell him that he wanted him too, but he should have known not to hope for anything more, not after how he'd treated Avery all along. 

Disappointed, he shook his head. "No, I don't want to be friends."

Avery was looking at him with confusion, and his expression shifted to a guarded one. Avery was clearly thinking it had all been for nothing and he was just being cruel again.

He had to take the shot. He'd already ruined any chance he had with Avery, so he had nothing left to lose at this point.

"I want to be more than friends," he said, meaning to say it confidently, but instead it came out sounding timid, yet hopeful. Not like him at all.

Now Avery's lips parted in surprise, and he glanced around the room as though Devin were directing that statement to someone else.

He stepped closer. "I know you don't trust me, and I don't blame you at all. You deserve someone kind and thoughtful, like you, not an asshole like me. But I can't just be friends with you, not when...not when I want you." He blushed. "I like you, Avery."

Avery's expression softened, and he stepped forward, standing almost toe to toe with him. "You like me?"

He nodded. "When I told you back at camp that I cared about you a lot, I meant it. I've cared about you for a long time." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I know it doesn't matter, and it's no excuse for what I did, but the night you told me we couldn't hook up anymore was the night I came over to tell you how I felt about you. It was terrifying to think about putting myself out there like that. I was nervous and I wanted it to work out, so when you said we had to stop I didn't know what to do. You wouldn't even hear me out. I felt stupid and I was angry about being rejected, so I took it out on you and your project. I'm so sorry about that. I know I got what I deserved afterwards, but it was hard. The past few weeks sucked because all I wanted was you. I wanted to be next to you in bed. I wanted to be the one making you smile and laugh. I just wanted to be with you."

He saw surprise and sympathy in Avery's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Devin. No wonder you were hurt," Avery murmured. "I didn't know you felt that way about me. I had no idea. I always thought that you didn't want to date anyone. I'm sorry for not giving you a chance that night. I know I would have been crushed if someone had rejected me that way."

Avery reached over and took his hand, and his next words surprised Devin and made the dark cloud that had been surrounding him for the past few days begin to lift. 

"I like you too. I have all along, despite everything that happened. It was hard to turn those feelings off when things went downhill, but they were there the whole time. I just never thought anything could come of us because you told me you didn't do relationships. And I didn't think you'd ever like me. I thought I was something you were enjoying while you were stuck in a situation, and after it was over, I'd never hear from you again. I didn't want to stop hooking up with you, but I was hoping that it wouldn't hurt as much when you left if I gradually pulled away."

"You were worried about me leaving?"

Avery nodded, a sad smile on his face.

"You want to keep hanging out with me?"

"I do, if you want to hang out with me."

"I definitely want that."

Avery's eyes lit up and his face seemed to be glowing. "Okay. I do have one condition though. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it my way."